Guest Post: Weird Day At The Gym

Thank you, thank you to Tanya at A Taste of T for providing this guest post. Quick tidbit: She has the cutest little dog with the cutest little name, Bowser! I'm actually a bit intimidated by this post, as it very well may be more hilarious than anything I have ever written here. Tanya, you have strengthened my resolve to never, ever set foot inside a gym!

Weird Day at the Gym
By Tanya Munoz

Howdy y’all.  I am Tanya Munoz from A Taste of T and I am extremely honored to guest blog for Miss Lamb.  I love her tales of life, especially a true success!  Since the topic choice was wide open, I’m going to tell you a tale about my day at the gym.

It started a little something like this…

I suspect choosing the locker right next to a girl, when there's a million other lockers open, is like choosing the urinal right next to the guy peeing.  Cause this morning the empty locker room was anyone's choice.  You could choose any section to get dressed and be naked...and this grandma chose RIGHT NEXT TO ME.  I mean, there are benches and benches, lockers and lockers and lockers and she chose locker 24...mine was 23.  Then she asked if I could move my gym bag on the bench...there were a million other benches...empty benches.  Well, since she was so attracted to me, I decided to strike up a conversation with her (yes while in the nude). I said "How's your morning?"  Granny, who was facing locker number 24, stopped putting things in her locker and said "Young lady, you are naked. Is this really the time for a chat?"  I said "Yes."  She walked away.  

Other strange gym activities include but are not limited to the following:

1. Steam room strangeness.  I sat in the mist unable to see those around me in complete relaxation...until...I heard a weird scratching noise.  Repeatedly. And then again.  Finally after several minutes, the steam cleared a bit and I saw him.  Weird shaving in the steam room guy.  I sat there in awe.  Multi-tasking in the steam room?  Brilliant.  So I said "Does that cut time from getting ready or do you always shave in the steam room?"  He informed me that its better for your skin to shave in steam and it allows you to shave less often.  I listened to him discuss follicles, shaving and health for quite some time until the awkward silent part of a conversation hit and then I said "But you know it's weird and kinda gross right?"  He agreed and quickly left, razor in hand.

2.  Walks in pool guy.  When I left the steam room, feeling a bit dirty...not sure why...I walked past "walks in pool guy."  He was (as you can expect) walking the length of the lap pool...with a travel mug of coffee in hand.  Curious (as usual), I asked him what's in the mug.  He looked pretty offended that I asked, so I said "What? Coffee?"  Still extremely offended and continuing to walk the length of the pool, I decided to walk with him (out of the water) and badger him about what was in the mug.  "Seriously, liquor?  Protein shake? Vicodin?  What?"  Finally he said "coffee, I'm really tired."  That might've explained why he was "walking" in the pool...probably didn't realize where he was.  Then I asked him for a sip.  I left that conversation thirsty and with him glaring at me, still offended. 

And finally...

3.  I forgot my towel and had to buy a towel.  Me no likey.  I wonder if air drying is socially acceptable?

Funny, it has never crossed my mind to take this with me to the pool. I suppose it would help cancel out the icy feeling when you first get into the water...
And, yes, I do likes my coffee fancy :)

Sexy Nerd Quote of the Day

As previously mentioned in a funny and FRUSTRATING post, (here) Sexy Nerd recently smoked us a chicken. Even after our smoked turkey fiasco, (turkey at 10pm, anyone?) we're still on two different pages when it comes to how something like this should be done.

Me: So, how long until the chicken's ready?

SN: I dunno. Around dinnertime, probably.

Me: How much does the chicken weigh?

SN: I didn't weigh it.

Me: Yeah, but the weight was listed on the packaging.

SN: Why does that matter?

Me: You can use the weight to estimate how long it will take to smoke.

SN: I'll just use the meat thermometer.


 King of the Grill doesn't necessarily translate to King of the Smoker

Getting All Teary-Eyed

Earlier at work, we were sitting around talking about someone who had recently passed away. Although it was sad and I feel terrible for the people who were close to him, I had never met the person and did not feel compelled to cry, yet sat there rubbing my eye and rapidly blinking throughout the entire, hour-long conversation. The two other women involved in the conversation probably thought Don't sit there trying to fake cry! You're pathetic! but I was only doing it because there was something in my eye. It was driving me CRAZY, but I couldn't very well get up and leave to look in the mirror while someone was pouring their grieving heart out. So, I sat there politely, squinting and nonchalantly closing one eye periodically, in a sympathetic sort of wink, until I was alone. Finally, I thought, inspecting my eye in the mirror. 

It turned out that the thing irritating my eye is GROWING FROM MY EYELID! What the heck do I do now? According to Dr. Google, (my primary care physician) I have a stye. It’s not anywhere near as disgusting as the images that Dr. Google showed me (really, Dr. Google, there is such a thing as too much information!) but now I’m worried that this may just be the beginning and that I’ll wake up tomorrow to discover that my eyelid is swollen shut and bright pink, along with half my face! Dr. Google, along with colleague Dr. Wikipedia, has also advised me that this insanely annoying eyelid bump may stick around for the next 10 days unless sticking a needle into it! Ummm, not exactly comfortable with that idea, thanks! Sensing my anxiety, Dr. Wikipedia offered this little gem of information:

Stye surgery is performed by an ophthalmologist in his office, and generally under local anesthesia. The procedure consists in making a small incision on the inner or outer surface of the eyelid depending if the stye is pointing externally or not. After the incision is made, the pus is drained out of the gland and very small and unnoticeable sutures are used to close the lesion. It is common that the removed stye is biopsied to rule out the possibility of skin cancer.

Oh.My.God.I.Am.Going.To.Freaking.Die! Oh, did I mention that I just had a doctor’s appointment (with a REAL doctor) 2 days ago? Would’ve been nice for this wacky eye problem to appear just a little sooner (or not at all!)

Make fun of me now, Sexy Nerd, but you're going to feel like quite the jerk when I'm 6 feet under from stye-poisoning

So, who out there has a fabulous* home remedy for me?

*Not-so-fabulous remedies need not apply

Shamefully Meeting Our New Neighbors

Sexy Nerd and I just returned from a walk around the neighborhood with Pica and Biscuit. We were stopped by a cute little girl who was playing outside with her brothers and mom. She asked if she could pet our dogs. "Sure," we said, happy to meet more of our neighbors. Almost 3 years here and this was only the 3rd house where either of us has spoken to the neighbors. It's tough being socially awkward.

Biscuit isn't a fan of strangers, but Pica, our wiggly and happy Jack Russell Terrier, loooooved getting attention from the little girl. In fact, she loved it so much that when the girl (maybe age 3 or 4?) reached out to her, Pica jumped up and placed her front paws on the girl's shoulders. No worries though. The girl was laughing. Her mom was smiling. We were making friends.

Then Pica, who just looooooves attention, sprung a leak. She PEED all over the little girl, abruptly putting an end to our meet-and-greet with the neighbors. She was just so excited!

Sexy Nerd, Biscuit, and I will be taking a different route for our next walk. Pee Wee can come along too, if she must. Would future encounters be more embarrassing or less if she's wearing a diaper? I suppose it could be a conversation starter.

Does Pica look ashamed? She should!

Dutch Baby/German Pancake/Puff Cake

Sexy Nerd and I make this for breakfast at least once a month. It's quick, easy, and delicious, though we agree it tastes a bit more like french toast than a pancake. We've served it to company and it is always a success. Here is the 2 person recipe, which should be made in a small pan, like a 9x9 or a loaf pan. If you use too large of a pan, the batter will spread out too thin to puff up!

Combine the following ingredients in a bowl or blender:

We've made this using nonfat and lowfat milk and they seem to work equally well for this recipe.

(or Whisk, whisk, whisk!)

Now, you can either let it sit at room temperature for about 20 minutes or you can refrigerate it to have for breakfast tomorrow.

Ten minutes before you are ready to put this into the oven, take your pan and get it nice & buttery. Don't skimp on the butter or you won't get the nifty, bubbly effect while it's cooking. Instead, you can look forward to chipping this off your pan for the next hour.

Stick your buttery pan into the oven and preheat it to 425F.

After preheating, take out the hot pan and double check that it is still well buttered. Just to be on the safe side, I like to spray a little nonstick cooking spray around the edges of the pan as well.

Give your Dutch Baby/German Pancake batter one last whirl in the blender (or one last strenuous whisk!) and pour it into the pan. Place it on the lowest rack in the oven for about 10 minutes, (it should start to brown slightly) and then move it onto the center rack for another 10 - 15 minutes.

Oooh! Go Dutch Baby, go!

Sadly, the poofyness goes down after this is removed from the oven. It tastes great though, especially with a dusting of powdered sugar, fresh fruit, like strawberries and blueberries, and some maple syrup.

I'd choose this over french toast any day!

We're Back From Vacation!

Actually, we've been back for a week. I love planning for a trip and anticipating all the wonderful blog posts to follow, but...after the trip, when it's time to actually sit down and write about everything we did, (so, so much!) my lazy side kicks into high gear and refuses to even look through trip photos, let alone write out all the details. My lazy side is so stubborn! It doesn't want to be here at home; it wants to be on VACATION! And don't even ask whether or not I've unpacked my suitcase. Packing for this trip, I was unpacking things from our last getaway, 6 months earlier!

For now, here is a summary of our cruise on the (horrible!) Costa Atlantica (seriously, it seemed like they were trying to kill us!) Before you think Good for you, Lamb, fighting your laziness to at least post where you went, you should know that I am cut/pasting this from our travel itinerary:

Fly into Quebec (Sat, 4/24)

Day in Quebec (Sun, 4/25)

Day in Saguenay & cruising the Saguenay Fjord (Mon, 4/26)

Day in Charlottetown (Weds, 4/28)

Day in Sydney (Thurs, 4/29)

Day in Halifax (Fri, 4/30)

Day in Bar Harbor (Sat, 5/1)

Day in Boston (Sun, 5/2)

Day in Newport (Mon, 5/3)

End of the cruise in New York (Tues, 5/4-Sat, 5/8)

Okay, now that I've posted that, I'm full of guilt. This barely counts as a blog post! To make things right, here are some wacky binocular photos from our cruise. I absolutely LOVED that we brought the binoculars!

Ever Have One Of Those Days At Work? Part 2 of 2

*If you missed the previous post, please scroll down and read it 1st, so that you will fully understand what a crazy, wacky, insane, nutty, irrational, kooky, lying, psychotic bee-atch I am writing about!
The dentist ended up calling and speaking to mom. She answered every little question mom could think of. If this post were about rational people, this would be the end of my little story. After all, you wouldn't take your child back to a dentist you don't trust, right? I wouldn't even bring my dogs to a veterinarian if I wasn't 100% comfortable with them. But, as noted above, this particular post is about a *!#%^, so of course the fun kept going. Mom brought the child back for the next appointment. Our office had had enough nonsense, so we made it a point to be extra clear about everything. An impression would be taken for an appliance, which we would receive back from the lab in about 2 weeks, and the copay would be $79. It seemed to sink in. The assistant came up after taking the impression to let mom know when to schedule the next appointment. Mom was baffled by the concept of the appliance (it all supposedly made sense to her 20 minutes ago!) The assistant resorted to DRAWING MOM A PICTURE detailing the appliance/where it goes/how it works/why it's needed and even told her about how she'd had the same thing when she was a child. Mom was still confused and said she felt pressured and didn't think she wanted the appliance any more. 

Then why the hell did you come into our office today to have an impression made?!?

Wrapping up my story, mom would only pay $73, not $79, because "they told me it was $73" (I heard them tell you $79! It's right there on the chart. $79! $79! $79!!!) I told mom to have a seat in the waiting room and her child will be right out, to which she replied, "where is my child?". Before leaving, she told me that our office is "shady". We're shady?!? Despite all this, she says she will be returning in 2 weeks and again this summer for her child's check-up. 


Here's an old group photo from when my boss threw me a surprise bridal shower. Do any of these ladies look "shady"? NO!

Ever Have One Of Those Days At Work? Part 1 of 2

I don't usually post about our patients. What if someone who takes their child to our office reads this, I always think. In this case though, I couldn't care less. Let the *!#%^ read this (lol, I guess you know where this post is heading!) 

A few weeks ago we saw a new patient who needed a lot of treatment, like crowns and extractions. I told mom that I'd be happy to file a pre-authorization for her before we got started. That way, her insurance company would let her know how much she would need to pay out-of-pocket for the procedures. So, I filed it and made the next appointment for a few weeks out. 

Following up several days before the appointment, I realized that we still hadn't heard back from her insurance company. On mom's behalf, I called her insurance and spent FOREVER (if you've ever tried to call an insurance company, you'll know that this really isn't much of an exaggeration) getting through their automated system to get to a real, live person, then spent another FOREVER convincing them to give me the estimate over the phone, as they "didn't have a fax machine" (yeah right!) or the ability to email the pre-authorization (pffft!). I broke down the information from the insurance company in an easy, straightforward way to understand and mailed it to the child's parents, with more than enough time for it to be received before the appointment.

Fast forward to the day of the appointment. Before going back for treatment, we remind mom what we'll be doing today and go over the insurance estimate. The assistant comes up and explains everything to mom, including that the dentist wants her child to take Penicillin (see #10 on this post) and why it's important. I go over the copay in detail AGAIN, as mom seems to have forgotten everything that was said to her half an hour ago. We schedule the next appointment and they leave.

First, I get a call from dad. He says that the treatment that was performed was a surprise to him and his wife. That's funny since, in addition to talking about it over and over and over with mom, the dentist had her actually look into her child's mouth at the first appointment and acknowledge that she sees the extensive decay. Funny too that the treatment "we never told them about" was on the pre-authorization, which had been mailed to them. And, what a surprise, the receipt that I sent mom home with at the first appointment, which detailed exactly what treatment we planned to do, had been lost. I finally got dad off the phone after over 20 minutes. Then, the patient's grandmother called to go over the exact same thing! Oh, and they were not going to give the child any Penicillin.

Hey, Dad and Grandma. If you're so damn worried, maybe you should have come to one of the appointments! You don't trust the information mom tells you? Maybe you shouldn't be sending her with the child alone!

TV Babies

I stumbled upon this article and wanted to share it. Click here. I've never seen an episode of most of these shows (you read that right - I've never watched The Office or Lost!), and as for the comment that Friends limped along for two more years after Emma was born, I completely disagree. I love Friends! My friends used to tease me for wearing a Friends shirt to school during 6th grade. I wish the actors would stop being so darn stubborn and make a Friends movie! So, why did I enjoy this article so much? Because of I Love Lucy.

"The word "pregnant" was never said on the show; instead writers used "expecting" to please censors". 

And I thought the censors were picky today!

I thought Pebbles had always been on the Flintstones. You learn something new every day!

Jordan is a Picker. Are You a Picker Too?

She was very brave to confess this here on LambAround. Hopefully you won't judge her too harshly, especially as I have been a secret picker for years. Maybe, just maybe, we will be accepted by society one day!

Also, be sure to leave a comment so you'll be eligible to Win A Le Creuset Stock Pot! Yes, my dear readers, I do plan to remind you until the cows come home :p

My name is Jordan and I'm a picker. There. I've said it. Try as hard as I might to resist picking I cannot do it. I've been like this as long as I can remember. It's turned into an addiction, I can't just stop. It's not even that fun anymore, just something I am compelled to do to make it through the day.

It started out innocently enough, as a child my mother and I would search through bags of potato chips looking for 'good ones' - c'mon you know what I mean, the folded, extra crunchy, extra potaoty, nom, nom, nom....... Nothing was better then when I'd pull out the crown jewel of the bag, wave it around like a trophy and then pop it in my triumphant little mouth.

psssst hey kid, like what you see?

Soon I had moved on to ice cream- rocky road being my favorite. I discovered if you popped a half gallon in the microwave for about 40 seconds it would be soft enough to allow for easy excavation of the chocolate covered nuts and marshmallow bits, but still hard enough to make you work for it a bit. As I've gotten older I've started to go to further lengths to achieve the same high- dumping chocolate chips into peanut butter only for the joy of fishing them out- digging through banana-nut muffins to find the walnuts, even now as I write this I am in the process of
rummaging through a Lucky Charms box to get at a the sugary nuggets of goodness within.

I have tried to stop this serial(see what I did there?) picking. I know that other people, namely Carl, would like to have some of the treats hidden within as well, I tell myself

'Self, stop doing this. You are approaching 30 and this is disgusting. Nobody wants to eat your picked-over rejects.'

I really want to stop but this thing takes over me and it's all

'Just one more, ok, er,.. one more, uhhh last one? one more last time, please?'

Damn, now I'm jonesing for some jelly beans, but just the white ones.

Those People

1st up, be sure to enter to Win A Le Creuset Stock Pot!

Guest blogger, Michelle Pixie at Momma's Pixie Dreams, has been kind enough to provide LambAround with a post today. Enjoy it, because you won't be seeing any other posts like this here! I'm not brave enough to even get my ears pierced, let alone pierce anything else!

Momma's Pixie Dreams

I got my nose pierced four weeks ago. Something I have wanted to do for a while but because I was pregnant I wasn’t able to get it done. So my husband took me to get my nose pierced as a gift. It’s not my first piercing. I have my ears pierced, I also have a cartilage piercing, and I had my nipples pierced when I was 21 and although I didn’t leave them in for very long I really enjoyed having them pierced. It wouldn’t work for my life now I can't imagine breastfeeding with piercings although I've heard it can be done?! I have to say I love having my nose pierced and would love to get more piercings but my pain threshold isn’t what it used to be so I probably won’t get anymore.

I also have a tattoo. I have a tattoo of my horoscope sign on my lower back {I know, I know my very own little tramp stamp!}. I love tattoos. I think they are very sexy when they are done right. Walking into that tattoo parlor to get my piercing done definitely sparked that feeling inside of me to get the tattoos done that I have been wanting to get done for years but have had a million excuses as to why I can’t or shouldn’t do it.

Yesterday I took Diva to her pre-kindergarten class and one of my neighbors was there. She hadn’t seen the baby since she was born so as much as I didn’t want to socialize with her I knew she would run over to peek at the baby. When she came over to see the baby she noticed my nose piercing and looked at me and said “Oh, that’s new!” I responded with a “Yes it is.” She proceeded with a comment that was a sly backhanded insult {generally get one of these every time I talk to her} she said “I never took you to be one of those people.” At first I just laughed it off but the more I think about it the more it irritates me.

What was that supposed to mean? I wish I would have asked her when she said it but I am just not one to make a scene. I am not like her in thinking I am above everyone else or pawning my kids off on the nearest stranger because I can’t be bothered for whatever reason. I don’t walk around acting like I don’t gossip {because HELLO don't we all?!} about people only to spout off at the first person that will listen.

I told Hubby that maybe it was a good thing because maybe she won’t be sending her kids over here for me to baby-sit under the pretense of a “play-date” and maybe just maybe she won’t be trying to pry into our business in hopes to get dirt to spread to the nearest person who will listen.

I guess I would rather be one of “Those People” than her kind of people. As far as I am concerned, she better not get too close to me or I might rub off and she could become one of “Those People” too!

Duck Duck Goose

Today's LambAround post was written by my fabulous guest blogger, Val at Sew Not My Day. LOL, I have to admit that this isn't exactly what I was expecting when I put the call out for guest bloggers, but to be fair, I did say any topic would be fine. You'll understand what I mean when you get to the end. Oh, the ducks. The poor, poor ducks!

And, of course, don't forget to comment so you'll be eligible to Win A Le Creuset Stock Pot in the 1st ever LambAround giveaway!

I’m Val over at Sew Not My Day.  I write about sewing sometimes.  Mostly I write about whatever trips my trigger that day.  Whether it’s about my teenage kids, husband, family, friends, memories of my youth, their youth, whatever!  But I DO sew too!  And sometimes when I have a project done, I’ll post about it.  This post is a story of my youth.  Enjoy!

Duck Duck Goose!

Once upon a time, when I was just a very young girl… I lived on a hobby farm.  My dad had a full time job in sales but enjoyed tooling around on his tractor on the weekends…  I learned how to drive by first driving that tractor and pulling a flatbed wagon while my dad and brother bailed hay.

It brings back great memories of when my dad would disc the field and one of my sisters and myself would sit on the back of the tractor dragging our heels in the freshly turned cool dirt.  Our job was to watch out for milk weeds, run yank them out of the earth, then climb back on the back of the tractor so Dad wouldn’t have to stop.  GREAT fun!

Once he was cutting down tall grass in the garden that wasn’t a garden that summer.  He had the tractor rigged up with a long choppy blade on the side.  The grass fell over nicely as he drove along.

My oldest sister Tammy, felt like she was a 100% organic farmer-girl, so she raised ducks, chickens, a cow named Matilda and even butchered a hog once!

This story isn’t about the hog nor Matilda, it’s about her ducks.

Because you see…  as my dad mowed down that tall grass, all of the sudden there were about 12-15 small ducks flopping around on the fresh mown grass.  One of my sisters and I were perched in our favorite tree on our favorite branch and seeing the commotion, we didn’t understand what had happened.  We just saw Tammy running from the house to the garden screaming at the top of her lungs.

None of the ducks were spared.  All their feet had been chopped off and Tammy was distraught!  Everyone was called up to the house because we had to butcher just over a dozen ducks immediately.  The smell of wet duck feathers in the kitchen was the worst I’d ever smelled… even worse than when we butchered chickens that one year… eeewwe…

So, flash forward about 15 years!  I’m about to be married to my honey Robb.  He’s at the tux fitting with his best man and groomsmen.  What do you think a groom would be talking about with his best buds??  Tammy’s ducks.  As he’s doing an impersonation of what the ducks looked like, the guys are ROFLMAO.  Oh yeah – they loved it!

What they didn’t realize was that Tammy was still VERY bitter about the whole ordeal and this is NOT something to be brought up at the wedding party…

No flopping around for this ducky!

No Boyfriend No Problems

My 1st giveaway: Win A Le Creuset Stock Pot!
I'll never admit that I'm currently away on vacation. That said, the post below was written by my nifty guest blogger, Tina Lane, who says:

I am an ex-party girl who left my sunny life in Florida behind to become a writer and Domestic Midwestern Diva.  My blog is a chronicle of my adventures.

Tina Lane originally posted this with a generic "Sexy Nerd" photo from a site with free photos. There can only be one Sexy Nerd on this blog though! Besides, it's hard to beat something like this when looking for a photo of a nerd (I'm saying this WITH LOVE, of course! Mwah, Sexy Nerd!)

I was visiting one of my new favorite blogs, Dry as Toast,when I glimpsed Dorkys, the fearless blog owner and karaoke singer, wearing a shirt that proclaimed: "No Boyfriend, No Problems." I kind of have to agree. Even though I am a happily married woman now, I was never really a huge fan of the boyfriend movement.

I am surprised that us ladies, in all of or our collective wisdom, have allowed this term to continue on unadulterated for so long. The word "boyfriend" is ambiguous at best and seems to serve some purpose other than direct and frank communication on the part of the boy. Is it serious? Is it not? Are there wedding bells? Are there not? Is he recently divorced, emotionally unavailable or otherwise in a state of crisis? Does he even know what he wants or is he still figuring things out? And what is this boy business about anyway? Is he a man or isn't he???

But I digress.

In the name of relationship sanity, the time has come to redefine the word "boyfriend" once and for all and put all of our cards on the table. Ahem...

Man-friend: A man that is interested in a long term monogamous relationship that will not necessarily end in marriage. This lifelong bachelor is usually rather pleased with himself, accomplished, and/or has already lived a full life. Think Mr. Big from Sex in the City.

Play-friend: A man that is interested in dating for entertainment purposes only. Said man is usually charming, extremely handsome, and dating several women at once. Also known as a man-slut.

Man-daddy: An older gentleman who is willing to lavish you with gifts in exchange for your attention. Think Richard Gere in Pretty Woman.

Man-bitch: Someone who is willing to be your girlfriend until you finally come around to having feelings for him. This is usually the guy who invites you to go shopping and offers to hold your purse. Not to be confused with a gay-man.

Boyfrusband: This man is looking for all the comforts of a monogamous relationship without any of the demands. Very often in the middle of a crisis or major transition, he is looking for something to get him over the hump until he decides what he wants. This man is very likely to make a commitment in future, but it may not be to you. Think Joaquin Phoenix in Walk the Line.

Man-candy: He has absolutely no idea what he wants but makes for good company. Sometimes mistaken as mysterious or cool, Man-candy can often escalate into a Man-boy. See following definition.

Man-boy: This is the polar opposite of the Man-daddy. Every Man-boy has his price, and it often involves free rent and utilities.

Husband-elect: A man who is openly interviewing for a position as husband or lifelong partner.

If I am missing anyone ladies, please chime in. This is a group effort, after all.
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