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Dental Reception: Sometimes It's Like Pulling Teeth

January 2017 will mark twelve years at my job at a children's dental office, which is 99% of the reason Sexy Nerd and I don't have any kids. It's a job I mostly love, unexpected as it started as just an internship-like side gig between college classes and my "real" job. Here's a little taste of what I've been putting up with during that time, with the name of my boss changed for privacy...though any computer-savvy person will be able to figure out the real name without much sleuthing:

Me: Thank you for calling Dr. Simon’s office. This is Kitty. How may I help you?

*Beep*

Me: Hello?

*Boop*

Me: This is Dr. Simon’s office. Can you hear me?

Angry Caller: I WANT TO TALK TO A REAL PERSON (followed by a surprisingly long list of profanities)

Awkward silence

Me: This is Kitty with Dr. Simon’s office…I’m a real person.

Angry Caller: YOU’RE A REAL PERSON?

Me: Yes. Are you trying to reach Dr. Simon’s office?

Angry Caller: WELL IT’S ABOUT TIME! I CAN NEVER GET A REAL PERSON AND I NEED TO GET SOMEONE OUT HERE TO MY HOUSE!

Me: I think you may have the wrong number. Are you trying to reach a pediatric dentist?

Angry Caller: QWEST! THIS IS QWEST, RIGHT?

Me: No, sorry. You have the wrong number. This is Dr. Simon’s office. She’s a dentist.

Awkward silence

Overly-Apologetic Caller: Oh my God, I thought you were a computer. I'm so sorry! I never would have yelled at you had I known!

Me: That's okay! Good luck trying to reach Qwest. I know they can be frustrating. Have a nice day!

Overly-Apologetic Caller Who I Cannot Get Off the Phone: I kept pressing buttons thinking that's what I had to do. Oh, it must have been right in your ear! I'm so sorry! Oh, I feel awful about that. And I've taken so much of your time! Sorry again.

Me: Don't worry about it. Have a great day!

Crazy Woman Who Refuses to Hang Up: You even told me, didn't you. Oh, again I am just so, so sorry. I'm embarrassed. I can't believe I did that. I've taken up so much of your time. I really can't apologize enough.
WHY IS THIS CONVERSATION STILL HAPPENING?!

This is the transcript of an actual phone conversation I had earlier this week, abruptly shortened as I thought my readers would lose their minds reading through the 27 additional back-and-forth exchanges between myself and this woman, all in an attempt to terminate the neverending call.

Career goals for 2017: Be less patient and be less nice. The stereotypical rude receptionist who is sarcastic and puts you on hold forever? Embrace the stereotype.

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