Me: Thank you for calling Dr. Simon’s office. This is Kitty. How may I help you?
Me: This is Dr. Simon’s office. Can you hear me?
Angry Caller: I WANT TO TALK TO A REAL PERSON (followed by a surprisingly long list of profanities)
Me: This is Kitty with Dr. Simon’s office…I’m a real person.
Angry Caller: YOU’RE A REAL PERSON?
Me: Yes. Are you trying to reach Dr. Simon’s office?
Angry Caller: WELL IT’S ABOUT TIME! I CAN NEVER GET A REAL PERSON AND I NEED TO GET SOMEONE OUT HERE TO MY HOUSE!
Me: I think you may have the wrong number. Are you trying to reach a pediatric dentist?
Angry Caller: QWEST! THIS IS QWEST, RIGHT?
Me: No, sorry. You have the wrong number. This is Dr. Simon’s office. She’s a dentist.
Overly-Apologetic Caller: Oh my God, I thought you were a computer. I'm so sorry! I never would have yelled at you had I known!
Me: That's okay! Good luck trying to reach Qwest. I know they can be frustrating. Have a nice day!
Overly-Apologetic Caller Who I Cannot Get Off the Phone: I kept pressing buttons thinking that's what I had to do. Oh, it must have been right in your ear! I'm so sorry! Oh, I feel awful about that. And I've taken so much of your time! Sorry again.
Me: Don't worry about it. Have a great day!
Crazy Woman Who Refuses to Hang Up: You even told me, didn't you. Oh, again I am just so, so sorry. I'm embarrassed. I can't believe I did that. I've taken up so much of your time. I really can't apologize enough.
WHY IS THIS CONVERSATION STILL HAPPENING?!
Career goals for 2017: Be less patient and be less nice. The stereotypical rude receptionist who is sarcastic and puts you on hold forever? Embrace the stereotype.