Blender Cake Mix Custard

Here is a quick and easy dessert recipe, courtesy of my Vitamix. You can also make it in a Blendtec or other high-power blender.

Vitamix Custard Recipe
Cake Mix Custard Vitamix Recipe
Serves 6
  • 16 oz milk (Feel free to use whatever kind you have on hand. I've even mixed nonfat milk with coconut milk to great results.)
  • 6 egg yolks (Feeling fancy? Save the egg whites to top your custards with meringue and torch them, Baked Alaska-style. Ooh, and then sprinkle with fresh chocolate shavings. Or rainbow sprinkles for a birthday cake custard variation! Folding crushed Oreos into the finished custard would be delicious too - the options are endless.)
  • 1/4 C white sugar
  • 1/4 C brown sugar
  • 8 oz cake mix (Approximately 1/2 a box)(I've made this with Duncan Hines Classic Yellow and Betty Crocker Red Velvet. Both were good, but we preferred the Classic Yellow - it tasted like birthday cake. I haven't tried it yet, but I bet Lemon cake mix would taste like lemon curd, especially if you threw in half a lemon.)
  • 3 Tbsp cornstarch (Don't simply dump this in - see Step 3.)
Easy Peasy Instructions:

1. Throw all the ingredients except the cornstarch into your blender.

2. Blend, blend, blend! Set a timer for 6 minutes - after whirling around on High, the mixture will be steaming hot. While you wait, mix the cornstarch with 1/4 C cold water.

3. Reduce the blender speed. Remove the Lid Plug (steam should escape - if not, keep blending on high before moving on to this step) and slowly pour in the cornstarch/water mixture. If you used something thick, like heavy cream, instead of something watery, like skim milk, you'll only want to add a little of this.

4. Put the Lid Plug back on, return the speed to high, and blend for another minute. Don't step away - the custard becomes so thick my Vitamix can't even blend it!

cake mix custard

5. Transfer the hot custard to the fridge or freezer to cool. Impatiently eat spoonfuls of it while it's still hot. You know how you can't feed your dog something hot because it will eat it and burn itself? This hot custard will make you understand that problem firsthand.

blender custard
Enjoy!

Shiny Dreams and a Dark Gray Funk of a Mood

Our house has been sitting for what seems like months (come to think of it, it may literally be months) while we wait for the weather to improve. The construction crew was unable to get the roof on before the first snowfall and they made no effort to wrap the house, so everything is a soggy mess. Outside, the mud is so thick and deep, construction equipment can't make it past the street. It's depressing.

Our house is filled with water, but there's also some ice, so watch where you step!

Is this a normal part of the building process? I have family members who work in the construction industry in Arizona. They said building in the winter isn't a big deal as long as you wrap the house, otherwise water soaks into the wood and it swells, causing major problems. Our builder isn't concerned (at least, he isn't letting on if he is), but I can't shake the feeling that everything is going to be a mildewy nightmare and that our house is ruined forever.

video

Construction woes aren't the only thing messing up my mood right now. I think my boss may have gotten my identity stolen, which I'm not mad about because it wasn't intentional, but she doesn't think this is something she should tell me, which makes me furious. Plus, she and my coworker don't value my time. Also, my mom is sometimes a bad mom. Not like "all moms are bad sometimes/no one is perfect" - truly bad as a mom. I wonder if she will read this. I hope she doesn't. I crossed out that last part, lest you think "Oh yeah? Well you are a bad daughter." Now the question is do I write an elaborate blog post justifying my feelings or let it me. Crossing it out doesn't actually matter. It's still there for the world to read.

It feels like I am teetering on the outskirts of depression again. This writing is terrible. Terrible is the best I could come up with.

Rather than allow myself to sink lower, I've been trying to occupy my thoughts with things I enjoy. It has been a weekend of cooking and Sailor Moon! I'm also focused on the fact that we've chosen the best builder in New Mexico and that one day we will finally, finally be living in our new home with all the charming special touches we've purchased and created, such as:

Bambi

This is the only animal head you'll ever see mounted on the walls of our mountain home.

Wine Bottle Chiller

Oh, this is so much more gorgeous in person than on the website. If you're looking for the best housewarming present or perfect wedding present, this is it! I customized ours with the address of our new home (blurred out in the photo above because it's possible for my blog readers to know me a tad too well) and the year we'll be moving in. 

I'm not sure what I'll do with it if our house isn't completed until 2018. Surely it will be finished this year, right? Surely. I can already picture the email I'll send our builder in November. "You have to get things wrapped up or else our wine bottle chiller will be a lie."

My Wooly Fox Family

These are the cutest things, all wooly and soft and bundled up. Hate foxes? (You monster.) It's not much of a stretch to pretend they're badgers.

Come to think of it, this might actually be a wooly badger family.

Clawfoot Tub with Talons

I ordered a Randolph Morris clawfoot tub from vintagetub.com months ago and it has been sitting in our dining room ever since, along with an enormous, unassembled sauna that overstayed its welcome more than a year ago. The site has vague photos of what you'll be receiving and the reviews online are mixed, but I took a risk because the price couldn't be beat. Well, it turns out the Randolph Morris tubs from vintagetub.com are AMAZING. I was worried the feet would be piddly and cheap, but they're heavy and detailed. I can't wait to get this tub installed and really show it off here on my site.

Now, if we could just reach a decision on what color to paint the clawfoot tub...or whether to paint it at all. I'm thinking dark bluish grayish purpleish yellow. Green? Or Cherry Cobbler red from Behr.

Artwork

Oh, I have collected so much "artwork" for our new home. (True art collectors will scoff, hence the quotations, but I like it.) I have no idea where any of it is going to go, but we're going to have so many walls and each is going to be more beautiful than the last. Sexy Nerd says he's going to scream if I bring home any more artwork. 

Funny enough, we have more artwork than I'd intended. I recently received a piece in the mail I'd ordered on clearance. The oversized box it was packaged inside seemed wasteful for an 8"x10". Why such a large box? Because another piece of artwork had accidentally been sent along with it! Sexy Nerd really can't blame me for that one.

Rustic Moravian Star Lights

My dream was to line our hallway with 8 of these lights, but they're expensive, especially the large ones I had my eye on. Well, my Sexy Nerd (AKA the best husband ever) is going to build the lights for me! The photo above is his first attempt, which I thought looked great but he thought was an abomination. He spent more than two hours staring at it, occasionally taking measurements and coloring a diagram he'd painstakingly created on cardboard. Supposedly, each of the new lights will be made out of a single piece of metal.

As for the prototype that didn't live up to Sexy Nerd's demanding standards? It will hang in Pica and Biscuit's bedroom. They're so fancy.

Fruit. And vegetables!

Just kidding. I haven't been stocking up on fresh produce for our new home, not yet at least. The blue and white bowl holding everything is destined to be the sink in my new vanity...which Sexy Nerd is also building from scratch.

Did I mention how great he is?

Focus on the positive. Focus on the positive. Focus on the positive.

Ho Hos Chinese Food - Making Your $4.75 Go Further

This is the quickest, easiest, and cheapest meal to feed a crowd EVER.


Step One: Buy a HoHos Happy Combo, which is a ginormous box of lo mein, fried rice, and 3 entrees for about five bucks. Of course, if you don't live in Albuquerque, you can always substitute food from your favorite local Chinese restaurant.

On a quick side note, when did "ginormous" become an actual, spellchecker-approved word?

Step Two: Steam or boil whatever tasty vegetables you have lying around. I love to use carrots, cabbage, celery, and bean sprouts. Throw in some peanuts too!


Eew, these bean sprouts look like little bugs. They sure are tasty though!

Step Three: Mix everything together. Let the flavors mingle.

 
Look how healthy this is! Other than, you know, all that greasy Chinese food you're about to add to it.

Step Four: There is no step four. You're done! Wasn't that the simplest, most affordable meal for a crowd you've ever made?

 
Not exactly the most appetizing photo ever, but it tastes amazing. Come to think of it, I took this photo before reheating the Chinese food, which had been sitting in the fridge all afternoon. Why would I do that? And what on earth are those tiny dots scattered throughout the food??

Black pepper...I'm fairly certain.
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