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Guest Post: Weird Day At The Gym

Thank you, thank you to Tanya at A Taste of T for providing this guest post. Quick tidbit: She has the cutest little dog with the cutest little name, Bowser! I'm actually a bit intimidated by this post, as it very well may be more hilarious than anything I have ever written here. Tanya, you have strengthened my resolve to never, ever set foot inside a gym!



Weird Day at the Gym
By Tanya Munoz

Howdy y’all.  I am Tanya Munoz from A Taste of T and I am extremely honored to guest blog for Miss Lamb.  I love her tales of life, especially a true Match.com success!  Since the topic choice was wide open, I’m going to tell you a tale about my day at the gym.

It started a little something like this…

I suspect choosing the locker right next to a girl, when there's a million other lockers open, is like choosing the urinal right next to the guy peeing.  Cause this morning the empty locker room was anyone's choice.  You could choose any section to get dressed and be naked...and this grandma chose RIGHT NEXT TO ME.  I mean, there are benches and benches, lockers and lockers and lockers and she chose locker 24...mine was 23.  Then she asked if I could move my gym bag on the bench...there were a million other benches...empty benches.  Well, since she was so attracted to me, I decided to strike up a conversation with her (yes while in the nude). I said "How's your morning?"  Granny, who was facing locker number 24, stopped putting things in her locker and said "Young lady, you are naked. Is this really the time for a chat?"  I said "Yes."  She walked away.  

Other strange gym activities include but are not limited to the following:

1. Steam room strangeness.  I sat in the mist unable to see those around me in complete relaxation...until...I heard a weird scratching noise.  Repeatedly. And then again.  Finally after several minutes, the steam cleared a bit and I saw him.  Weird shaving in the steam room guy.  I sat there in awe.  Multi-tasking in the steam room?  Brilliant.  So I said "Does that cut time from getting ready or do you always shave in the steam room?"  He informed me that its better for your skin to shave in steam and it allows you to shave less often.  I listened to him discuss follicles, shaving and health for quite some time until the awkward silent part of a conversation hit and then I said "But you know it's weird and kinda gross right?"  He agreed and quickly left, razor in hand.

2.  Walks in pool guy.  When I left the steam room, feeling a bit dirty...not sure why...I walked past "walks in pool guy."  He was (as you can expect) walking the length of the lap pool...with a travel mug of coffee in hand.  Curious (as usual), I asked him what's in the mug.  He looked pretty offended that I asked, so I said "What? Coffee?"  Still extremely offended and continuing to walk the length of the pool, I decided to walk with him (out of the water) and badger him about what was in the mug.  "Seriously, liquor?  Protein shake? Vicodin?  What?"  Finally he said "coffee, I'm really tired."  That might've explained why he was "walking" in the pool...probably didn't realize where he was.  Then I asked him for a sip.  I left that conversation thirsty and with him glaring at me, still offended. 

And finally...

3.  I forgot my towel and had to buy a towel.  Me no likey.  I wonder if air drying is socially acceptable?

Funny, it has never crossed my mind to take this with me to the pool. I suppose it would help cancel out the icy feeling when you first get into the water...
And, yes, I do likes my coffee fancy :)

Comments

  1. Hahaha! Gyms can be pretty scary :) and funny! Thanks for allowing me to guest blog.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Holy 'asshats hit the gym' day. I guess if I went to my gym more often I might hit some of those too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh My! That was really funny! Walking in the pool guy . . . ha!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rule #1, never read lamb around's blog or her guest bloggers while sipping hot soup. You won't like the result when you spit it all over your computer from laughing.

    Great guest blogger! What is it about those grandmas at the gym? I get the same issues at Y. Especially when they finish up one of those water aerobic classes. Eww.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My friend and I used to go to the same gym. We didn't need to know people's names at all. We would just say to each other - you know the lady with the make-up? You know the guy with THE shorts? We would know exactly who the other was talking about. There are some strange ones at the gym.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Soo funny!! I love the naked Grandma. People are so wierd..
    Thanks for stopping by my blog and for your encouragement. I look forward to more from Lamb's world!

    ReplyDelete

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About Kitty Deschanel

About Kitty Deschanel
I'm a freelance writer who believes in infusing all topics, from Jessner peels to chronic insomnia, with a dose of humor. Thanks to their endless shenanigans, my Sexy Nerd (SN) and our "children", Pica and Biscuit, make frequent appearances on my blog. I have written for major brands including Dove, Anheuser-Busch, and Jimmy Dean and my work has been featured on Huffington Post. Connect with me on Twitter and Instagram @KittyDeschanel.


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