Kitty Deschanel

You know those products that seem to be heavily marketed around Christmas, then suddenly disappear? The ones with the gimmicky marketing that leave you scratching your head, wondering who would possibly buy something so ridiculous? Check out what Sexy Nerd and I went home with after my family's White Elephant game at Christmas: No more bending to clean your feet! Hooray.

Sexy Nerd and I said goodbye to chilly Albuquerque and flew off to Tucson to see my family on Christmas Day. There wasn't much of a line going through security, but I was selected to be one of the *lucky* passengers inspected by the airport's new body scanner. Sexy Nerd says it's because I cut in front of him in the security line. Supposedly, the scanner can't see beneath sequins. Doesn't everyone wear sequins on Christmas? After being scanned, I was also required to be "patted down" by the hand of a large, stern woman. Phooey.  Christmas photo! Note the plethora of black sequins all over my chest.  What's the matter, Sexy Nerd?  Oh, that's right. It's time for a Neal family Christmas. There, there!  So many Neals! So very, very many Neals! Honestly, I'm just being dramatic. They're all fun, friendly people and it was wonderful to spend Christmas with them. (And who knows if any of them will read this post!) Sexy Nerd's

Filmed when Pica was a puppy. Wasn't she cute? Don't worry. The bottle is empty. See? She grew up and turned out just fine. Well, maybe not fine by most people's standards, but fine enough for a Pica dog! Bonus points if you can guess what we were watching.

Remember MySpace? I'd forgotten all about it and decided to sign on for the first time in over a year. There was a post that I wrote right after Sexy Nerd and I moved into our rental house together. It's cute, in a pitiful, dopey way. Here you go, cut and pasted directly from MySpace: Nerdy just told me that his mom asked why our house is decorated my way and not his. Well gee, I'd love to use his dining room table instead of mine but, guess what, he doesn't own one! I'd love to use his plates and glasses and bedding and towels, etc, etc, if he had some! He always complains that my couch is uncomfortable, but does he ever offer to buy a new one? Nope! And does he even own a bed? Nope! (although I've been told that he has an air mattress stored away somewhere...) Besides, he says he likes the way that I decorate. If you saw the way "his" office and "his" garage look, you would understand why he has little influence over the rest of the hou

For comparison, let's first examine someone who is excelling at being a Sexy Nerd: Lookin' Good, Baby! Tragically, the images you are about to see are of a girl who is not putting the "sexy" in Sexy Nerd: Has anyone seen my "sexy" around? I swear I just had it a moment ago. I look like I'm ready to go study physics. (Whatever that is) Yes, my closet does have the best lighting. Why do you ask? I've always thought glasses are sexy on other people. Ahh, back to myself again. EEP! Super Nerd will bore us all to death with endless discussion of equations and mechatronics!   My "You don't honestly expect me to wear these ridiculous things in public, do you?" look.

 I'll be wearing my fancy "new" shoes to work today. Before: Damn you, Gold Buckle!  Hmmm, which to choose? Unbuckled (You're enjoying the narrative, right?)     Ugly on the back After:  Sparkly on the front! Ta da! Like Dorothy, only pink and with some self control. That weird little string is still inside the shoes. Does anyone know what that's for? Taken last night. You do all your blogging in your pajamas too. Admit it. Side note: Aren't fuzzy slipper socks the greatest?  Geez! Next to Pica, my size 8.5 feet look freakishly small. Did I ever tell you that she is supposed to be a miniature Jack Russell? I guess Pica didn't get the memo. I'm not sure whether the girls at work are going to like my sparkly shoes or make fun of me. I think my shoes look fun! The women I work with aren't the type to put nail polish on their ugly gold buckled shoes though. They probably wouldn't have bought the shoes in the first place, even though th

Sexy Nerd has an especially tricky time staying out of the doghouse - I don't want any jewelery!

Sexy Nerd and I began our relationship with me living in Albuquerque and him in Michigan. We used to talk through instant messages for hours and would even occasionally skip our classes to keep talking. Yesterday, when I saw that Sexy Nerd was online at the same time as me, I couldn't resist starting up a conversation. To be fair, I was warned ahead of time that this kind of thing happens after you get married. Still, PHOOEY to you, Sexy Nerd!

Sexy Nerd and I recently discovered the awesomeness of The Office. The great thing about having never seen an episode until well into the series is that we have dozens of new episodes recorded. Last night, we watched the episode where Stanley is being disrespectful to Michael, asking "Did I stutter?" during an office meeting. In this episode, Pam has to wear her glasses after forgetting to bring her contact solution to a friend's house. In other words, no, there will be no photos of myself wearing my new glasses today. Courtesy of theofficequotes.com : Michael Scott: Alright everybody-- [noticing Pam's glasses] Oh. My. God. Pam. Those make you look so ugly. Uhh, Pam in order to get hotter you take the glasses off. You're moving in the wrong direction. Pam Beesly: I don't have my contacts-- Michael Scott: Dah, dah, dah. I can't even hear you. It's just noise coming out of an ugly scientist. Y

Last night, Sexy Nerd and I were talking about the scariest movie we have ever seen together. It was a while back and, although it was good, it really creeped us both out! If you're feeling brave, here it is: Eeeeep!   Sure, here it looks like your typical PG, family friendly movie. That's what they want you to think. Even the Coraline website is spooky!

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Here they are in the cookie dough stage: Oh wait, that is a photo of them fully baked. Hmmmm... (Yes, it is fun harassing Sexy Nerd! Besides, considering that he made about 2 dozen of these and right now, less than 4 hours later, they are ALL GONE, I'm sure he knows I'm just teasing him.) The recipe may or may not be coming soon. I asked Sexy Nerd how he made them and he said "I dunno". So I asked if he used a recipe or just made something up. "I dunno," he said again. To which I, of course, wanted to say  "YOU DAMN WELL KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU USED A RECIPE, YOU CRAZY ASS NERD!" Whoops, that wasn't a very nice thing to write. Must be the sugar talking.

I've always been the type of girl who gets her hair cut just once or twice a year - whenever Great Clips or Super Cuts sends out a $4.99 haircut coupon. When Groupon offered 50% off at Salon Phoenix in Albuquerque, I decided to splurge. This month's Redbook came out a few days later. Who else sees the haircut resemblance? I just wish I'd thought to bring my camera to the salon. When my hair was being highlighted and was crimped into dozens of foil pieces, I looked like I could have been the baby of the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion. Though, I suppose them having a baby together would overshadow my snazzy new haircut. Thank you, Bridgette at Salon Phoenix! I love my new haircut!

I was all set to post about how completely filthy Sexy Nerd's office is, but noticed an even more disturbing problem while taking photos. See if you spot it: Although mailbox-decor does strike me as kinda odd, it's not the mailbox itself I'm referring to. Noticing a pattern here yet?  Sexy Nerd made that silver thingy back in school. What is it? No clue. You may think the unusual thing is putting your hats next to a bag of garbage (ummm...is that sanitary?) but there's more to this photo than just a poor storage choice. Do all grown men collect Hot Wheels? Is this normal?? It's not the point I'm trying to make, but I would love to know. Love the paint job? If I didn't know Sexy Nerd better, I'd swear he was flaming (HA! My only cheesy/stupid joke of the week, I promise!)

The other afternoon, I was enjoying some quiet time alone. I had my pajamas on (not the type to wear your pajamas in the middle of the day? You're working too hard!) and was reading a book in my office. The ceiling fan was set to the lowest speed. Sexy Nerd peeked in through the doorway to ask if I wanted to come to Lowes with him. Nope, I was perfectly happy just being lazy. As he left, I made my big mistake. Can you turn the fan up for me? I asked, truly embracing my laziness. He did. Then, he noticed that the fan wiggled slightly. We have lived in this house for over 3 years and I have never noticed anything wrong with the fan. Of course, Sexy Nerd didn't think a wobbly fan was anything to take lightly. That's going to vibrate right off the ceiling and kill someone, he said, completely serious (to which I thought, seriously!? ) This is the part of my story where I was forced to leave my office (too dangerous!) while Sexy Nerd took the entire fan down. Sex

After reading about my candy bar and dishwasher disasters, a friendly commenter wrote: Her next trick: frying the microwave!  Please tell me that you have a microwave story? I'm sorry but I don't have a microwave story, other than the handful of times I've melted plastic bowls by forgetfully leaving a metal spoon inside. Really, who hasn't? I do, however, have a stove story. I was in middle school and my family was preparing to move from San Jose, CA to Albuquerque, NM. Our house was spotless because my parents were getting ready to put it on the market (the value of homes in the Bay Area skyrocketed a few months after they sold the house, but that's a story for another day). Home by myself, I was wasting the afternoon reading magazines and came across an idea for something nice to do for my mom. The magazine (American Girl, I think) suggested that I melt down my old crayons and pour them into heart-shaped molds. I had heart-shaped molds! I gathered up al

A moment ago, I was lounging around lazily in my pajamas, reading American Baby magazine (no further comment on that).Suddenly, my leg was itchy. The itchiness moved . I glanced down and saw this: Not that icky, you think? Not even crawling up your leg?? Well, perhaps this will convince you: Blech!