Kitty Deschanel

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Showing posts with the label Funny

Feeling Saucy...and Ridiculous

Remember the other day, when I bought 40 boxes of pasta? I think we all knew this post was coming. To be fair, that jar on the right is already half empty. Aren't pantry (very important 'r' in there) photos fun? This is how I live. Messily. And with several of each item. Two unopened boxes of couscous. About a million cake mixes and chocolate puddings. Like a crazy person. I hadn't tried this brand before stocking up. What a relief that it was delicious! The looks you get when checking out with 13 glass jars of pasta sauce (over 20 pounds for those of you doing the math but, really, it's best not to do the math) are nothing compared to the inevitable looks of horror and disgust when returning those same jars.

The Post Where I Show You My Pale, Hairy Leg

With a post title like that, you know it's going to be good! First, allow me to share with you a photo from the Albertson's grocery store that I visited on my birthday: One heck of a crack in the parking lot, right? The scenario: It's my birthday. I stop by on my way home to get milk, cereal, and yogurt. Halfway into the store, I realize I've forgotten my reusable grocery bags in my car, but am lazy and don't turn back to get them. After buying what I need, I return to the parking lot, pushing a heavy shopping cart. The ginormous crack and I cross paths. The front wheels stop suddenly. The back of the cart is pushed up into the air. Can you guess what happened? I really can't stress that enough. In Albertson's defense, I'm fairly certain the scar was already there. Moral of the story? Karma will kick your butt if you don't bring your reusable grocery bags. More fun moral? No grocery shopping allowed on your birthday!

Let's Hope I Don't Forget to Attend the Show

In response to my last post, Lamb Quote of the Day , spiffy long-time reader My Husband's Watching TV commented "So...what's the show?" Hey , I thought slyly while writing my reply, I can get an additional blog post out of this! Another year older, another year wiser, and another year more diabolical. Muah ha ha! (The evil laugh. You know you love it.) You see, the answer isn't as simple as merely telling the name of the show. I wrote that blog post around 3am. Originally, I omitted the name because Sexy Nerd's preposterous paranoia has rubbed off on me over the past 7 years. It seemed best to save the name until after the show, lest a reader know exactly when I would be out of the house, making it easier to (A) abduct me from the parking lot after the show (or before! Extra cruel) or (B) steal Pica and Biscuit and my fanciful new camera (jokes on them - I am bringing my solid, weapon-like camera with me and Pica is a pain in the butt whenever she is

Shabby Apple Giveaway - Help Choose a Dress

*4/7/11 Update* The giveaway is well underway, but people keep coming back to this post and voting for the dress that did not originally win, making my giveaway post seem screwy and ridiculous. You people make me smile. I'm looking forward to seeing who the poll winner is by the time the giveaway is over. Who knows? Perhaps Shabby Apple will let the winner choose their own dress. Exciting news! LambAround has been contacted to participate in a giveaway with Shabby Apple , meaning I get to select one amazing dress to randomly give to a reader. Pretty nifty, right? There's just one problem. Shabby Apple emailed me an extensive list of dresses to choose from, some for adults, some for kids, and even a few maternity dresses, and, although I've narrowed down my choices considerably, I just can't make up my mind on which dress to feature for my giveaway. As you, my reader, are the one who may end up with the dress, (sadly, there will not be a dress given to yours truly, so

Would You Like a Bowl of Steak?

The Pioneer Woman became an online sensation with a post teaching the world how to properly cook a steak. Tonight, I heard laughter coming from the backyard, near our barbecue grill. The steak was flat when Sexy Nerd placed it on the grill. Kinda looks like a viking ship. Or a pigeon! In Sexy Nerd's defense, the odds of having a dry steak go way down when it can hold its own marinade. Apparently, Sexy Nerd has never read The Pioneer Woman's blog.

Because You Can Make a Million Things with Pasta

Ronzoni pasta is on sale for only 49 cents a box at Smith's until Wednesday. 49 CENTS! Add in coupons and you can even get the pasta for free! I embarrassed Sexy Nerd by piling 20 boxes into our cart. The cashier agreed with me that it was quite a deal. Sexy Nerd says she had to agree, as she was in charge of selling the product and was secretly thinking that I was a sucker, but I'm confident that she had also taken the opportunity to stock up. Not really that many. These are stacked 3 deep against the pantry wall. I had been shooshed out of the pasta aisle by Sexy Nerd. That night, I couldn't get the Ronzoni pasta deal out of my head. 49 cents! On my way to work the next day, I stopped by Smith's again. Junk in the trunk. Just a few more boxes? Another twenty boxes! To be fair, if we eat a box a week, this won't even last a year. Hmmmm...I wonder if I should go back for more... I got home before Sexy Nerd and decided to pu

Sexy Nerd Quote of the Day

Preparing dinner the other night, Sexy Nerd told me he'd heard about a group of people who aren't quite vegetarians, but they only eat meat in moderation. To me, this is known as a healthy diet. He continued, trying to think of what these people are called. He remembered. "They're called transformitarians ." That quesadilla is mostly veggies and cheese, but it also contains a little bacon. Sexy Nerd must be a transformitarian. Update: The word he was looking for was flexitarian . D'oh!

I Must Have the Luck O' the Irish

I'm going to begin today's post with a link: http://www.amazon.com/Calphalon-Contemporary-Stainless-8-Quart-Stockpot/dp/B0007D6FL8/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top Lamb , you're thinking, why did you just have me open a link for a $150 stockpot?That's an insane price for a stockpot and I don't even care that it's Calphalon Contemporary! I agree with you 100%. Out of concern for our health, (some may argue that it's out of sheer paranoia) Sexy Nerd and I have been wanting to replace our Teflon pans (they kill pet birds!) for quite some time. We wanted a quality set, but are super cheap thrifty. Allow me to introduce you to our new set of Calphalon Contemporary pans: Yes, I know what you're thinking (or quite possibly yelling out loud). $499 for a stupid set of pans? Are you crazy?! Well, we are crazy, but in this case we're simply lucky ducks. We stopped by Bed Bath and Beyond the other day and found these pans on the clearance rack, marked down t

Ah Choo!

It's that time of year again! The juniper has taken hold of our Albuquerque air and it seems like everyone is sneezing and scratching at their red, puffy eyes, myself included. My coworkers have been calling in sick, but I think their colds are really misdiagnosed allergies. Uggh, my head is pounding and my nose is driving me crazy! This time next year, I'm taking a cruise. Don't let me forget! It's 7pm. I think I'll go to bed. Here are last year's funny (IMHO) allergy posts, combined for extra awesomeness (also known as the lazy way of blogging, which confirms me yelling "I surrender!" to my allergies and to the universe). Enjoy! You know how I know that these allergies are getting the better of me? I had a conversation with Pica and Biscuit this morning. It went a little something like this: "Uuuuuuuugh! My throat is so sore that I'm losing my voice! I can barely talk! How am I going to work all day if I can't talk?" And, of

Stripper Bar

I'm about ready to go to bed, but before I do, let me share one more photo from our trip to Las Vegas. At the time, I was just photographing the giant girl at the Stripper Bar. It wasn't until later, when we returned home and were looking through the camera, that I noticed the person at the bottom of my photo. Click the image to enlarge Makes me happy to be married!

I Forgot My Common Sense Inside The House

I went to get the mail the other afternoon, which in our neighborhood means going to the end of the street to a community mailbox. On my walk there, I passed a man who was going in and out of people's yards. He was maybe in his late 20s/early 30s and I just assumed he was checking the meters for the electric company. I thought nothing of seeing him walk up my driveway right before returning to my house, as I figured he'd walk to the meter and continue on his way. Nope. He was standing at my front door when I arrived and didn't look like he planned to leave any time soon. I'm not a social person by any stretch of the imagination, especially after a long day at my socially demanding job. When I'm just dashing down to get the mail in a ratty t-shirt and old shorts, this is even more true. The man, who was hovering over me at well over 6 feet tall, explained that our neighbor across the street had quite the cockroach infestation and that he had just finished spraying t

LambAround Comic Strip #4

This post is dedicated to the Nespresso maker, coffee pods included, that has been cluttering our guest bedroom for over a year.

Valentine's Schmalentine's

Overall, I had a pretty mellow Valentine's Day. Did I get candy? No. A fancy, home cooked dinner? Nope. Was there even any snuggling (and maybe more)? Umm...no! But that was just fine this year. Sexy Nerd and I seem to have settled into the "old married couple" phase, where Valentine's Day is, for the most part, just another day. Oh, he did get us tickets to see Lewis Black here in Albuquerque in two weeks! And I don't have to go to Monster Jam with him this weekend (woo hoo!) As for me, I made us a scrumptious dinner of chicken soup, including egg noodles made from scratch, and got Sexy Nerd two (yes, two!) Snickers bars. Wait. The chicken soup was made on Sunday, not Monday. Well, I still got him the Snickers bars! Hey, it's an improvement over last year. Last year's post: Valentine's Day - Darn You, Sexy Nerd! Did Sexy Nerd sweep me off my feet for our 2nd Valentines Day as a married couple? Well, not exactly. Not at all, in fact. I had told

Alero Hates Tweety

Many years ago, Sexy Nerd and I took a little summer road trip to visit his family in Colorado. He was driving, I was sleeping, and all of a sudden we heard a * THUD! * It's not exactly the kind of sound you want to encounter when going 75mph, but nothing seemed to be wrong with the car and we didn't see anything in the rearview mirror. We continued down the road. It wasn't until we stopped for gas that we realized what had happened. Fair Warning: If you hated my favorite Super Bowl commercial , you're probably going to hate this. For the record, I was not the one who attached the note! Sexy Nerd has a craaaazy family.

The Messy Fridge Chronicles

Most people would hide this. Is it normal to have this many condiments??

Everyone Seems Sad. Biscuit Will Cheer Us Up!

*Post-work update: My boss spent the day talking about her Maxi Pad (she can never remember the word iPad) and basically being overall fun and lovable. She knows she was in trouble. I'm sure of it! I just can't stay mad at her though. Posted this morning: Thank you to everyone who commented about my CRAPPY day yesterday. I was hoping to go to bed and wake up feeling better about it but no luck. Really, the thing that made me mad was something my boss said, and I'm sure she had no idea that she was saying anything wrong, so it does seem silly to be upset with her. It was just a dumb comment. Actually, let's see what you think of it. I don't want to pull a Dooce , of course, but this really got under my skin. To summarize, my boss said that she still thinks of me like I'm a 20 year old and she always will. Okay, so you think of me the exact same way as when I was first hired... ...when I had zero experience... ...when I was working, like, 3 hours a week...

Cheapskate

Sexy Nerd constantly harasses me about my thrifty ways. His case against me may have improved last night, when he was cutting a zucchini and this happened: He claims that he could have lost a finger and perhaps even have been killed. Maybe it was just an extra-tough zucchini? On a side note, has anyone seen any bargains on knives lately? I think we have plenty - an entire drawer full of ones just like this! - but I suspect Sexy Nerd is going to throw them out.

Anniversary Ideas

Monday was me and my Sexy Nerd's anniversary. We've been married 3 whole years! And, since our wedding was on the 4 year anniversary of our first date, we've been together a whopping 7 years! Crazy. I'd been brainstorming anniversary ideas and came up with some good ones. After Sexy Nerd went to bed on Sunday night, I got started decorating. I rescued this banner from the trash pile when cleaning my boss's house last week. Have I mentioned that I work in a dental office? That's a blog post for another day. What a fun surprise when you come downstairs! Sexy Nerd gets up ridiculously early for work. I made him a batch of breakfast burritos to heat up in the morning and pre-filled the coffee maker for him. (Click image to enlarge) I framed a group of photos for him, including this collage. It features a note from the back of a photo he mailed to me back when we first started dating, when he was living in Michigan. Ta da! Next on my agenda was a litt