Kitty Deschanel

Sexy Nerd was shopping on Amazon.com for a fancy battery. He announced that PetsMart is a rip-off, selling the same battery that's $1.49 online for $10.99. Since the price was so low, he elected to buy a package of 10 (we go through 1 every 2-3 years, but that's a different story). After adding the batteries to his cart, Sexy Nerd decided to see what else he could find on Amazon. A few minutes go by... "I just bought the coolest book! It was written by the guy who was in charge of the Soviet Union's nuclear weapon program," Sexy Nerd announces. Suddenly, his enthusiasm disappears. "I hope it isn't in Russian." Five bucks says it is.

In keeping with the tone of my blog, I will try to refrain from swearing in this post. &*#%!!! I'm home from my big adventure and am contemplating whether or not to break Pica's legs (To Readers: Of course I would never do this. To Pica: You're dead meat, you little punk!) I was walking her and Biscuit to the mailbox today. When we were almost there, Pica's leash detached from her harness. It just kinda slipped off and rested on top of her. I tried to act like nothing was wrong, hoping to inch close enough to Pica to pick her up. She bolted! She just ran and ran and ran. So what did I do? I ran and ran and ran too, faster than any person should ever run (and especially faster than I should ever run. Whew!) First I was dragging Biscuit behind me, then I used her harness to pull her up, bungee-style, like some kind of flying, daredevil chihuahua that will probably haunt her for the rest of her life. This made it easier to run but much more difficult to grab Pica

This is my job. I answered the phone on Monday and an angry man yelled at me, demanding to know the phone number of our collection agency. I told him. Angry Man: I have a business and my number is just a digit off from that! All day, every day, people call saying F-this and F-that and it's all because the numbers are so close! Awkward Silence Me, as sweetly as possible (which I've found really annoys people like this): Well, unfortunately, I can't think of any way to stop people from dialing the wrong phone number. More Awkwardness Angry Man, no longer angry: I appreciate your time, ma'am. I don't have a photo from work, but I think my Monster Jam expression sums up my thoughts on this quite nicely.

Remember the other day, when I accidentally (well, technically Sexy Nerd accidentally) dyed my hair gray ? I couldn't go around as a 27-year-old with white, X-Men highlights, so I made an appointment to have my hair color corrected. I've toyed around with the idea of going from brunette to blond many times, as well as the notion of adding bangs. As long as I was paying for a fancy pants hair salon, why not just do both? Presenting Kitty Deschanel, the blond siren! Hubba, hubba, right? Who's fancy? I am! Yeah, I think I'm pretty hot stuff right now. I do have one very important bit of brunette to blond hair dying info for you though... ... ... ... ... GOTCHA! Why would I dye my hair blond when everyone knows brunettes rule?  For Halloween this year, I'm going to use this wig to dress up as my friend Marie, who has the exact same hair.  Now, let's have more fun with that blond wig! Pica

For the record, I hate Sexy Nerd's shiny jacket too! Cozy.

I got almost 7 hours of sleep last night! WOO HOO HOO! And I didn't even have to resort to sleeping on the floor. Despite catching up on my Zs, things are still making me laugh far too easily. How so? I wasn't planning to write a post right now, but this caught my eye while browsing Etsy and cracked me up. Being lamb-related, it seemed blogworthy. LOL!

I've slept about 6-8 hours total over the past 4 nights. I'm totally drained. How bad is it? Today at the dental office, I handed a mom her receipt, then quickly pulled it back and reprinted a new one. There was a wet line across her address. No, our ceiling is not leaking. Although I can't imagine doing this, I'm fairly certain I had drooled (DROOLED!) on her receipt while talking to her. Even worse, her teenage daughter witnessed it. Ugh, teenagers are so unforgiving of things like that. You'd think public slobbering would be enough to snap my brain out of its self-induced zombieland, but no. Checking out the next family, I scheduled the 6 month check-ups on Wednesday, December 8th, only to realize later I'd made them for June 8th. At least I'm catching these goofy errors. Geez, who knows how many corrections I'll find for this post after getting a decent nights sleep (tonight, I hope!). My coworkers hadn't quite grasped how impaired I was feel

Revlon Frost and Glow Alternate Title: Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Grouch? AAARGH! You know those days when bad things simply pile up, one on top of the other?  I set our "away" message at work before the holiday weekend and realized this morning that I said we'd be back Monday instead of Tuesday, which is not the kind of mistake my boss tolerates well.  Also, I have a bug bite on a non-bug bite friendly area and it itches but can't be scratched without attracting crazy looks. I ironed. Me! Ironed! This is not an activity I ever, ever do. I needed a new black skirt and was super lucky to find a perfect, practically brand-new one at the thrift store. With so much free time on my hands, I decided to iron the skirt, despite having just a few teensie wrinkles. Remember, I do not iron, ever...and now my perfect skirt is ruined! I melted the fabric and now it has permanent iron marks, without me ever even wearing it. *Sigh* But worst of all... Darn you,

If you've clicked onto this post in hope of elevating your already gorgeously wrapped packages to new, sparkly heights, I'd better warn you that this is an idea for people like me, with no gift wrapping skills whatsoever. The expensive paper, the darn tape that sticks where it doesn't belong. I just don't see the point! You can find an example of my mad anti-wrapping skills here: Thrifty Cloche Decorating . To my fellow anti-wrappers, I say that if you're going to embrace the anti-gift wrap lifestyle, you may as well go all out. My hatred of creating fancy packages has evolved over time into something downright fun. If you were Sexy Nerd, this is what you would wake to find on Christmas morning: Oooh! Fancy, right?  Ta da!  Why, yes, that is an old tag from an old gift dangling from that old ribbon. Whyever do you ask? And bubble wrap! Beautimous. I've made a joke out of my trouble wrapping gifts. In addition to all the scrappy-looking

I posted this last week right before The Great Blogger Fiasco. Although Blogger is back, this post returned with the title changed and all the comments missing! Most annoying of all, Blogger still has not resolved the ongoing problem where all the blogs I am following vanish. Most mysterious of all? I now have a duplicate category for my posts. Oh, and the new one starts out with Chinese! Did anyone else out there have control of their blog returned to them with a little Chinese thrown in? I promised you some hot, naked action in my last Camp Blogaway Sleeping Arrangements post ( Click here if you missed part 1 ). Okay, maybe not quite as exciting as that. Geez, can you imagine the Google results LambAround is going to come up in after this? Oops, maybe I shouldn't write "come up". There are going to be some very disappointed perverts out there. At camp, I found it difficult to fall asleep. Being cramped up inside a sleeping bag is not my style, especially when you th

Sexy Nerd was playing around with my fancy new camera the other night. What you are about to see is not (really can't stress that enough) the way our house usually looks. A certain someone, who is not shown in the photo, had been brewing and bottling beer and thought it best the save the mess for the next day. "Something to do tomorrow," this someone had said, fiddling with a camera that he had never shown any interest in up to that point. There's a trash can on the counter. And cheese right next to it! This goes against everything I ever learned as a restaurant manager. Showing a photo of myself in my fabulously frumpy pajamas (which I bought on our honeymoon - sexy!) also goes against everything I ever learned, but here we are. I'll post my trashed kitchen and I'll post my trashy jammies, but I really do need to draw the line somewhere. So, what is the point of all this? Take a closer look at the photo. If this were a restaurant manager scenario, I'

I promised you some hot, naked action in my last Camp Blogaway Sleeping Arrangements post ( Click here if you missed part 1 ). Okay, maybe not quite as exciting as that. Geez, can you imagine the Google results LambAround is going to come up in after this? Oops, maybe I shouldn't write "come up". There are going to be some very disappointed perverts out there. At camp, I found it difficult to fall asleep. Being cramped up inside a sleeping bag is not my style, especially when you throw in bunk beds that squeak if you so much as exhale too forcefully. Spiders, roommates, and bloggers drunk on wine, laughing it up outside the window, all decreased the likelihood of me getting any rest. Still, I tried. Traveling to LAX had made me pretty sleepy, as had the hours long drive to camp. Sleep was overtaking me. Then, a panicked thought. You see, (*TMI ALERT*) I don't do pajamas. Never have. They're great for lounging around the house, but for sleeping, I've never un

*Update* My post, Easter is Over , is being featured in the BlogHer list of links this morning. Now, more of the world will know what a nut I am! You want to know more about my experience at Camp Blogaway? Well, okay. Let's start with a confession. Remember how I told you that the bunk beds are close together? Like, crazy close together? Squeeeeeze in there! The first time I met my bunk mates, I put my foot right into my mouth. I carpooled over (no driving in LA traffic for this gal!) and we were one of the last groups to arrive, driving up shortly before dinner (courtesy of that glorious LA traffic! Who would have guessed it would be so busy driving from LAX...during rush hour...on a Friday...into the mountains?) Each camper had been assigned to a room. I noticed while unpacking that some rooms had crammed in four people. My room had just myself and two roommates, so I considered myself lucky. Fast forward to after dinner and after the highlight of the evening (Joy the Baker

I did it! Not only did I travel all the way to Camp Blogaway (ABQ to LAX) on my own, I did it with no major screw ups. I made my flights, remembered to pack everything I'd intended, and even socialized while there. That said, I'm absolutely exhausted! I got home a few minutes shy of midnight and went to work this morning, after preparing something for my boss's birthday potluck lunch. Of all days, right? I'm going to try to get some sleep tonight, starting at the laaaaaate hour of 8pm (7pm California time, so really, I'm extra pitiful.) For now, here are a few photos from my trip. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend! You sleep in very close quarters! In the morning, I drank tea around the fireplace with Joy the Baker. I couldn't think of much to say to her because, in my mind, all I could hear was OMG, OMG! IT'S JOY THE BAKER, SITTING RIGHT THERE! EEEEEEEEE!!! Spuddy Buddy! Ready for more than just a sneak peek? Camp Blogaway Review - Sleeping

Remember Nuke the baby? ( Click here if you missed it )(Ooh, and click if you didn't read the comments! There are some hilarious ones!) Sadly, Sexy Nerd's nuclear weapon obsession doesn't end with our imaginary baby. What is it with guys and weapons? He came home from work the other day completely psyched up about the cool models he'd purchased. Carefully, he peeled back a layer of bubble wrap and displayed, quite proudly, what looked like a paper towel roll that someone had attached bits of paper to and spray painted silver (okay, maybe not quite like that, but pretty darn close!) "It's an actual model of a nuclear bomb," he exclaimed! Then, he unwrapped the other. He had actually purchased 2 of these bizarre stainless steel paperweights. Apparently, they were both different designs. They looked almost identical, at least close enough to make do with only 1 model, but Sexy Nerd says there are "big differences". "Don't get mad,&q

My laptop is on life support. I've been getting a wacky message every time I turn it on (which is often, as it looooves to be restarted) saying that 'As an APP cannot run' (what the heck is that?!) and about once a minute my virus software pops up with a little announcement that it has blocked an intrusion attempt. Several system scans later, which all found no problems, I decided to dig out the CDs that came with my laptop 5 years ago. I'm back to the factory settings now, sans internet, and am writing this blog post from my computer at work. It's my lunch break. Really! And, of course, Sexy Nerd won't let me use his laptop since I broke mine.  Enjoy my Peeps the other day? Maybe this little punk took down my computer from the inside.

Sexy Nerd and I drove up to Colorado recently to visit his family. While there, we looked forward to/dreaded meeting our brand-new niece, Aria. Confused? Sexy Nerd and I have decided that our best strategy is to be on the "2 year plan" for having a baby. Technically, there are only 20 months left on our timeline, but calling it anything shorter than 2 years freaks me out!  There are just so many things to learn and prepare for before having a baby. I've already memorized Dr. Karp's 5 Techniques for calming babies and am currently reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. (Surprisingly, this book also offers insight into my own lifetime of poor sleep .)  No, I cannot delay my research, Sexy Nerd. It doesn't do you any good to read a life-changing piece of advice for 5 month olds when your baby is 6 months old, right? By then, you've already screwed them up, leaving them destined for a life of drugs, crime, and never moving out of the house! Sexy Ne