Kitty Deschanel

My crazy, anxiety-prone brain is a real jerk sometimes. Throughout our home building process, I've been required to meet with different suppliers one-on-one at least a dozen times and usually do a believable enough job playing the part of competent homeowner. Today, however, I set out on a quest for carpet prices feeling like a meek, pitiful shell of a human, wasting everyone's time and making a fool of myself. There was no reason for it. What's so difficult about asking for a carpet price? I even had a good idea what I wanted for once, so I could skip my usual look of indecisive puzzlement. My anxiety and I stepped timidly through the door of the flooring shop, my forehead knit with concern. I try to stop myself from doing this. The raised eyebrows don't do me, or my wrinkles, any favors. I've tried Botox to fix this bad habit, but apparently I'm immune to botulism. I even remind myself to relax my face periodically, reaching up both hands and smoothing the g

Recent posts from my office Facebook: 4/14 at 1:27pm You might expect to hear rambunctious children at a pediatric dental office, but you've never heard anything like the shrieks that just came from our front office staff. Somehow, a GIANT LIZARD HAS GOTTEN INTO OUR OFFICE and he is scampering around underneath Marie's desk! In more than 30 years of practicing dentistry, this is a first. Only in New Mexico, right? 4/14 at 1:39pm We're not sure where he is at the moment, but are being extremely careful when rolling our front office chairs. In fact, new rule - no rolling the office chairs until the lizard is safe and sound! 4/14 at 1:49pm *This just in* Danielle has named the lizard Bob. (The lizard shown is not Bob, as Bob is still hiding underneath Marie's desk, much to her dismay.) Also, the patients this afternoon are having a great time trying to find Bob, and an even better time exclaiming "There's a lizard!" and wa

You've probably seen all the hubbub in the news about how many of the sleep aids, supplements, and vitamins on the market are a scam, often containing little or none (NONE!?) of the ingredients claimed. It's especially bad news here in our household, where we have a bottle or two...thirteen...of vitamins and supplements. The ones I take every morning. Oh, and these too. I hate mushrooms, so reishi pills make a lot of sense, right? Sexy Nerd and I take these each day. The Saw Palmetto was recommended for our lousy, acne-prone skin. (I am not taking it for prostate health. I really can't stress that enough!) Even our dogs take a daily fish oil pill!   Pica loooves them, whether there are any health benefits or not. She's addicted to sucking on her own toes (aren't dogs just the worst?) and fish oil pills supposedly help reduce the hacking that results. She still hacks just as much as ever. In my defense, I never intended to buy some o

I don't say it enough here on my site, but I just absolutely love that Sexy Nerd of mine. You wouldn't suspect it if you knew him in real life, with his professional attire and reasonable social skills, but he's every bit as weird as me. I'm missing him this week because he's been traveling for work more than usual. He just got home from Kansas City last night and he's already gone again for a different business trip ! And he leaves again next week for California . Sexy Nerd insists he doesn't have a secret other family, but isn't all this traveling exactly what someone with a secret other family would do? You'd expect this would mean lots of phone calls, but guess what? I don't have a phone, home or otherwise. Well, not a working phone, at least, but my non-working phone is only $5 per month (more than $6 with taxes...which seems like a heck of a lot of taxes, now that I think of it. More than 20% taxes??) so we are all about emailing. Pretty

Springtime in Albuquerque means only one thing. Miserable, butt-kicking allergies. Wait...it isn't even spring yet. Darn you, Albuquerque. We should dig up all the juniper and institute a state-wide ban against it. I'm too stuffed up and groggy to post anything new today. Here is an allergy post from seven years ago. It's awful every single year. You know, the allergies...not my blog post. Oh geez, I just realized my allergy post was originally published in May. Does that mean I have at least 3 more months of suffering? Blech. Funny Boss Quote of the Day My boss called me from her home and pointed out that it sounded like I was losing my voice. She proceeded to have me continue talking to her for the next half hour, concerned about my voice the entire time while simultaneously talking about nothing. She also gave me this little gem of allergy advice: "Take that ricotta candy from Switzerland, with the bee pollen, and it will cure your allergies." Her teena

I've been so tired lately. The last time I got a good night's sleep was...let's see...3 weeks ago? 4? I finally, finally scheduled an appointment to have a sleep study done. Hopefully, it will shed some light on my lifelong (yes, even as a baby) sleep troubles. Exhausted at work yesterday, helpful coworkers pointed out, "You look SO tired!" (I'd actually thought I looked pretty good.) Sexy Nerd was out of town on a business trip, so I decided to get to bed nice and early. No internet or TV, a comfy, cool room, despite the scorching heat wave we've been experiencing here in Albuquerque, and twice my usual sleeping pill dosage (don't freak out - I usually break the pills in half) meant I had a good chance of catching up on some desperately needed sleep. Or so I thought. Our dogs have a nightly routine which you must never  ever vary from, lest you destroy their little dog worlds. Even though I was getting to bed a bit earlier than usual, (like, an

I installed the Lumosity brain training app weeks ago, then completely forgot about it until last night. That should have been my first clue. To get started with the app, I played three games which tested my "Memory Matrix", "Speed Match", and "Train of Thought" and received a Fit Test score.    Yes! I am a genius. Take that, inferior drolls of society, and bow before my greatness. Surely even Stephen Hawking gets distracted from time to time. Even so, this score was a disappointment after my victorious Speed Match test and seemed not-at-all geniusy. Further salting the wound, 76 is my most hated number. Come to think of it, 76 is my only hated number. (It's a long, dragon-related story.) The Train of Thought test had to be defective. My remaining score would concrete my value to society and elevate me to godlike status. Even better, Sexy Nerd would be super impressed. I am an idiot.

January 2017 will mark twelve years at my job at a children's dental office, which is 99% of the reason Sexy Nerd and I don't have any kids. It's a job I mostly love, unexpected as it started as just an internship-like side gig between college classes and my "real" job. Here's a little taste of what I've been putting up with during that time, with the name of my boss changed for privacy...though any computer-savvy person will be able to figure out the real name without much sleuthing: Me: Thank you for calling Dr. Simon’s office. This is Kitty. How may I help you? *Beep* Me: Hello? *Boop* Me: This is Dr. Simon’s office. Can you hear me? Angry Caller: I WANT TO TALK TO A REAL PERSON (followed by a surprisingly long list of profanities) Awkward silence Me:   This is Kitty with Dr. Simon’s office…I’m a real person. Angry Caller: YOU’RE A REAL PERSON? Me: Yes. Are you trying to reach Dr. Simon’s office? Angry Caller: WELL IT’S A

My brother and his wife are moving to Australia, where she will attend medical school and he will mooch off our relatives get a job. Everything must go! We just returned from their house $200 poorer, but rich in junk. A backup bread machine? Ours squeals like a pig whenever it's in the mixing cycle, so sure. Speakers for the garage? We're building our house around the garage ; of course it's going to need surround sound. My sister-in-law was happy to let me have her old purse for free, pointing out that she'd received it for free as a gift from my mom, but my brother jumped in and charged me $20 for it. When I'd wanted it a few years ago, his price was $50. We aren't close. A surprising thing about my brother and his wife is that they are bodybuilders. I know, you re-read that last sentence, thinking you'd surely misunderstood. Take a look: A video posted by Joanna Neal (@joanna.n88) on Oct 19, 2016 at 7:14pm PDT A video posted by

While on our roadtrip of national parks , we learned firsthand how the force of erosion carved our landscape, from the Grand Canyon to the hoodoos in Utah. But we never dreamed erosion could lead to our demise until, suddenly, a boulder dislodged itself and came slamming down the hillside toward us. We faced certain doom. Luckily, Sexy Nerd sprang into action! The massive rock was no match for his muscles of steel. Don't be fooled by his quiet demeanor, affinity for cactus, and funny-looking footwear . When danger strikes, the man you want in your corner is the man with the pocket protector.   Hooray for Sexy Nerd! Always the courteous one, Sexy Nerd rolled the stone off the trail, moving it as easily as one might spin a top. We resumed our leisurely hike, glad to leave our near-death experience in the dust. Disclaimer: This story may have been *slightly* embellished.

As a lifelong insomniac, I'm always open to trying new sleep tricks. Some things improve my sleep, such as my Amerisleep memory foam mattress, keeping the temperature in our bedroom at a chilly 67 degrees, and a pre-bed cocktail of half a Unisom, half a multivitamin, and a fish oil pill. Yum, yum, right? Other tried-and-true sleep tips don't seem to have any effect, including Dr. Weil's relaxation breathing technique, which other bloggers swear by as a cure for insomnia. Sadly, it just doesn't do anything for me. I do have a sleep cure (well, improvement, at least) of my own though and I encourage you to give it a try during your next restless night. It's a bit unusual though. Keep an open mind. Imagine yourself as a mountain lion. Weird, right? Weird, but this visualization actually helps. You're an immense, powerful mountain lion. You have no responsibilities. No worries. No cares. All day long, you have been roaming beneath the sweltering sun, climb

My day isn't off to a great start. I got about ZERO hours of sleep last night. It was one of those situations where you can't sleep because you have so many other things to do, but then you end up not sleeping anyway, so you may as well have just stayed up after all. Sexy Nerd is away on a business trip, which means making the morning coffee fell to me. He'll be home today and not a moment too soon. Grinding the beans, measuring the water, changing the filter, all before I've had any caffeine...that's what I have a husband for! I poured a packet of liquid creamer and some Torani Salted Caramel syrup into a mug, added my finally-brewed coffee, and sat down for a speedy breakfast before running off to work. I mentally checked off the things I need to take care of before Sexy Nerd gets home. The house is still a mess, the dogs need to be fed, the tortoises need their humidifier water replaced, (oh, by the way, Sexy Nerd has an aquarium of tortoises now) today is my

Let's begin this post with an image. Hmmm, which one should I use? Which one, which one? Ah, this sums things up nicely. It's perfect: I've been on a cancellation list with a local sleep study specialist to finally, finally get to the bottom of my lifelong insomnia  for several months. They never had any openings, so I was forced to be patient and wait for my scheduled appointment like some sort of...patient person. I haven't gotten enough sleep this week month year lifetime - that's the best I can come up with. Last night was my appointment. The sleep study was held at the Drury hotel in a comfy room and included a top-notch breakfast as a reward after a night hooked up to dozens of wires and electrodes. Not that insomniacs need extra incentive to do the study, of course. The reward we hope for is better sleep! So, how was the sleep study I've waited all these months for? I didn't go. *Sob* My job for the last 12 years has been to assist pa

For the record, I do feel a twinge of guilt at the thought that my Nana might read this. Not enough not to write it, you know, but a twinge nonetheless. Whenever possible, I try to do our grocery shopping mid-day. With the stores almost empty, I'm able to browse and meander like a little old senior, nothing but time. Of course, there's a problem with the stores being almost empty. It's just me and the actual little old seniors. And the seniors gravitate toward me as if I were QVC...or tennis balls on a walker...or a small dog to leave in the car...or an afghan to knit...or a rose show at the botanical garden. These are the things that come to mind when I think of seniors. Any chance they'll read this (excluding my Nana) and keep their distance from me? At Smith's yesterday, I was all alone in the cereal aisle, enjoying my personal space, when out of nowhere an old man came up behind me and exclaimed, "This place is almost turning into a Walmart!"

*For the record, this post is not sponsored in any way whatsoever by ThredUp . I just wanted to share their awesomeness with the world! Also, to clarify, I do NOT recommend them as a place to sell your clothes, as they seem to just steal them..though if no one sends them anything, it's going to make it much harder for me to find so many good deals, so...nevermind? I have a new favorite clothing store. They're online and they won my heart after I placed my first order and saw this: (My shopping soulmate?) ThredUp sells used clothing and shoes, but only if it's name brand and in excellent/clean/like-new condition. There are things for women and children. You can also sell your top-notch, unwanted clothing, which I'm sure is great for some people. Me? I'm too much of a hoarder to part with any of my clothes and I have the outgrown walk-in closet to prove it. (Too big? What if I gain weight one day! Too small? Motivation to fit into that again...or

We had a blackout here in Albuquerque tonight. Despite the heat, I used the break from Wi-Fi (it seems the only way to get me off the computer is to give me no choice) to enjoy an hour of yoga and meditation. Afterward, I stood in front of my office window, allowing the cool breeze and total darkness to calm my mind further. There's something hypnotic about watching your always buzzing neighborhood reduced to total, silent blackness. No drone of swamp coolers. No conversations escaping from a patio. Nothing. I felt renewed, hopeful for the day ahead and for life in general. Without warning, the power flickered back on, blasting the lights on porches, street corners, and from windows. And as I continued to gaze from my office, all feelings of tranquility were replaced with shock. The instant the lights returned, three people in the street took off running different directions. A man and woman together, as well as a man on his own. They were wearing all black and they'd been

There's a high school down the street from my office. You never know what you're going to see. On my drive home one day, I watched a young driver turn out of the school parking lot. She slammed into the SUV in front of her and put her hands to her head, probably thinking something like OH NO, OH NO, OH NO. I felt bad for her, especially with her classmates everywhere. Some were pointing. Some were laughing. Scarred for life, right? Well, the poor girl made things much worse. She put her car into reverse and pulled around the SUV, trying to drive away like nothing had happened. I didn't feel quite as bad for her anymore, what with her brazen criminal ways and lack of smarts on display. At just after 5pm, summer school had just gotten out, along with most of the many offices along the street. She was caught in a traffic jam! Knowing this, she still tried to drive away. The driver of the SUV pulled over, got out of her car, and slowly walked around the car that had hit

Pica has been dreaming about the posh new bed she's going to win, leaving her nights on the cold, hard floor behind her. What a mean mom and dad she has! ;) Our little troublemaker is behind in the competition though. If you have a free moment, please pop over to my Instagram to like Pica's contest entry. I think she's beautiful . Thank you! Thank you! (One from me and one from Pica. She's very polite like that. We raised her well.) (Is it super obvious we don't have kids?) A photo posted by Kitty Deschanel (@kittydeschanel) on Jul 10, 2016 at 7:05pm PDT I know I'm biased, but just look at that face! She could be a model, that pup of mine. P.S. Don't tell Pica, but we're totally going to make her share her new bed with Biscuit. Mean parents, I tell ya. P.P.S. With this post titled "Sad Jack Russell", I'd hate for you to be disappointed to have clicked the link, only to find Pica beaming that mischievous smirk of

You know how cute weird it is when you come downstairs and find your husband asleep on the couch? Mine truly believes in sharing everything 50/50. "Move over, Dad." Have a better caption? Leave it in a comment below! (And, yes, our house is trashed right now. We'll clean the next one .)

"I'm going to beat you with this frozen loaf." Muttered after I finished the last slice of thawed bread and didn't take a loaf out of the freezer. Yeah, he looks like a nice guy, but mess with his stockpile of bread and you'll incur the wrath of Sexy Nerd! *I'm a bit worried that someone is going to read this and email me information on women's shelters. Really, he hadn't had his coffee yet and I laughed hysterically after hearing this. Sexy Nerd is not the type to "beat" anyone.