Kitty Deschanel

Pica decided to "help" us by taking down the Christmas tree herself...on Christmas day...while we weren't home. Yaaaaaay. Thank you, Pica! (And, in case you're wondering, our Jack Russell Terrier is exactly why there were no ornaments on the tree.)

We decorated the chalkboard door. I made a batch of Joy the Baker's gingerbread marshmallows to take to Sexy Nerd's grandma's house. I was worried that the homemade marshmallows wouldn't come out of the dish, but...ta da!   (so yummy!) Sexy Nerd also baked up some dinner rolls and a baguette with herbs. He's fancy like that. My parents are spending Christmas with my family in Tucson and we're watching their dog for them. Britney will not let me take a photo of her. Look over here, Britney. Over here!! Biscuit understands how to take a good photo, but Pica is stubborn like you-know-who. Over here, Pica!  Hopeless. Merry Christmas!

I use my Nexus 7 as my alarm clock. This morning, I woke up before it went off. The screen said 9:32 (I have to be at work by 9!) It was actually only 6:32. There's nothing that starts your day quite like a small heart attack.

Have you ever seen the movie The Birds ? We took these photos at the Peel Zoo in Australia last year.   Call us crazy, but we decided not to enter. Remember when we visited Loreto ? Apparently, I'm a psychotic bird magnet. Wait...does that sentence imply that the birds are psychotic or that I am psychotic? Are there any grammar experts out there?

Last week, I came home from work to discover that Sexy Nerd had a serious case of I-need-a-treadmill-right-now-or-I'll-go-crazy-itis. Nevermind that he never wants to take a walk with me. The idea had been planted in his mind and there was no getting around it. He'd chosen an inexpensive treadmill from Sears and was pacing the house, waiting for me to come home so we could go retrieve it. I did a little research first. The treadmill he'd chosen? According to online reviews, it was a 100% piece of junk. Sexy Nerd didn't care. He said the treadmill he'd really like is a NordicTrack, but that I'd never let him buy one because they're too expensive. Well, I found him a super deal on a top of the line NordicTrack, marked all the way down from $2000 to $250. (And don't try to blame the slim budget on me, Sexy Nerd. You think it's nuts to spend $2000 on a treadmill too, punk!) Despite the bargain, Sexy Nerd wanted nothing to do with the treadmill. I...

Although SN and I started out in a long-distance relationship, with me in New Mexico and him in Michigan, drinking that famous Flint water, we haven't spent much time apart since before our wedding 6 years ago, when I took a family reunion trip to the Seychelles and Paris without him. (He "had to work", but I think the idea of 3 weeks nonstop with my mom terrified him. To be fair, it was pretty scary!) Now, he has been gone on a business trip for nearly 2 weeks and I'm kinda starting to miss him. He says he misses me too. So, I decided to have some fun and send him the following email: Subject: Here are some NAKED photos for you Message: Be sure to delete these after you look at them. The photos, one titled "hubba hubba" and the other "you know you love it": "I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it." "I'm sexy and I know it." Yep, that is a 100% collar-free, naked Pica . Sexy Nerd...

Jack Russell Terriers are known for their intelligence, and when Sexy Nerd left the house last week for a business trip, Pica knew exactly what his suitcase meant. She laid by the front door, whining, until I shooed her away. Even offering her a cookie did nothing to console the poor dog. I thought if I kept her away from the front door, she'd get distracted by something (a noise outside? a moth? a piece of dust?!) soon enough. Instead, she went straight to the garage door. Now, for my fellow South Park fans, you'll want to read this next part in the voice of Sexual Harassment Panda. I'm a saaaad Pica.

My plan for today was to share a long, detailed Seattle story with you. However, I'm still sick (aaaargh!) so that post has been switched out with one that's shorter and faster to write so that I can get back to bed. A few days ago, I had a fever of almost 103F. Now, I have vertigo. It's worse than that though. It feels like I'm seasick (!!!) even though I haven't been anywhere near the ocean since last Sunday. The water wasn't even rough on our cruise. This is getting ridiculous. Anyway, Sexy Nerd and I love Seattle. Despite its rainy reputation, we're always fortunate to have the sun shining when we visit. We walk everywhere in Seattle and enjoy the unique shopping, museums, and restaurants. Albuquerque just doesn't measure up. One thing we do not love about Seattle, however, is the overwhelming number of homeless people. That's a very hard thing to write without seeming mean, but hear me out. There's someone passed out or panhandl...

First, I'd like to begin this post with a traumatic TMI story. The other night, I was in the bathroom (TMI?) and a spider FELL FROM THE CEILING, landed ON MY BARE LEG, and - this is truly the stuff of nightmares - BIT ME! (!!!!!!) Now my leg is itchy. Okay, on to the meat of this post. Are there any bug enthusiasts out there? (You people are CRAZY, but to each their own, I guess.) We have this weirdo moth/fly thingy in our loft and I've never seen an insect like it before. Geez our windows are dirty. The last time they were cleaned was...by the previous owners of our house (I assume). Also, what is this thing??

I just used our new Vitamix to make a peanut butter, banana, blueberry smoothie. Yum, right? It also contains flax seed, grapes, spinach, cranberries, cucumber, chia seeds, strawberries, raspberries, and nectarines. Now, I'm just kicking back and relaxing with my refreshing beverage, courtesy of my own clever Vitamix recipe. Actually, that's a bit of a lie. A more accurate description would be "my own Vitamix recipe for disaster". It tastes horrible! Just because you can use the Vitamix to blend everything, doesn't mean you should. Also, I didn't have any peanut butter, so I just threw in a bunch of nuts. You can do that with a Vitamix, right? I honestly thought you could do that with a Vitamix. I'm too much of a cheapskate to throw this out. If only I hadn't made 8 cups! The Vitamix container is so large. It beckons for me to fill it. It's so healthy. I really should drink it, especially considering that my breakfast today was Red Vine...

On Saturday, my mom, aunt Jackie, and I spent the day in Santa Fe. We shopped, enjoyed a top-notch happy hour at Zia Diner, and strolled around the plaza. The highlight of our day, however, had to be the car I parked near (but not too near!) when we dropped my aunt off at the Buffalo Thunder Resort. The car is resting on top of the concrete barrier. How does someone do this?? They took the time to put up the sun shade! My mom took this photo of me. I was going for a look of amusement, but didn't quite nail it. I blame my braces for giving me a toothless, old lady smile. And, yes, that is a coffee and a Diet Coke. I needed some caffeine for my long drive back to Albuquerque. They're both complimentary at the casino, so why choose?

I haven't quite gotten Omaha out of my system and have been researching what it would be like to move there. How long do midlife crises usually last? Do you cut that time in half for a mid-midlife crisis ? The Omaha tourism websites only increase my desire for at least a visit, if not a life-changing move. At visitomaha.com , there's an entire section devoted to shopping. They have a store called Chocolate Peacock. Whatever could that be? My rational guess is that it's a typical, everyday candy shop. Then again, who's to say Nebraskans aren't serving the birds as a delicacy, fondue-style? Certainly not me, as Sexy Nerd hasn't agreed to vacation there yet. Omaha does make a big deal about their zoo. Just saying. I really should move to Omaha. Their tourism department needs me! Did you click on the link above? They're trying to convey how friendly and lovable the folks in Omaha are. They want me to believe that a day spent shopping in their various whimsic...

Sexy Nerd and I have been toying with the idea of moving to Omaha, NE. It isn't actually going to happen, but it's still fun to research a new city and place to live. I found a House Hunters clip online featuring a trendy part of Omaha (even less likely to happen, the condo featured was almost a million dollars!) Still, I shared the link with Sexy Nerd via his Facebook page, daydreaming about our hip, imaginary life "in the big city". Hey, when you live on the outskirts of Albuquerque, Omaha looks pretty impressive. They have so much water and greenery! Anyhoo, here is the response to my urban-living fantasy, posted by Sexy Nerd's mom: "No, no I was thinking farm...barnyard full of chickens, ducks, goats...and a garden to spend hours tilling and weeding... freezers full of the fruits of your labors...at least 3 kids running around climbing trees... just saying." Her comment made me smile, but I couldn't think of a reply. Granted, ...

I hate my skin! Hate, hate, hate!! This week, at the age of 29, I had my first chemical peel. It was almost painless, but I'm told that my entire face is going to come sloughing off like a snakeskin, probably starting tomorrow. I'm also told that under absolutely no circumstance can I help the icky bits of dead, dried skin on their journey to the floor, where they will undoubtedly and repulsively be frantically gobbled up by Pica and Biscuit. Hands off, no matter how ridiculous and gross my face looks, or I'll risk permanent scarring and discoloration. I hope this is worth it!

The other day, Sprouts/Sunflower Market (okay, technically just Sprouts now, but they were a million times better when they were Sunflower Market) had a great deal on organic apples - only $0.49 a pound! I already had some apples at home, but for that price I figured we could really use another couple dozen or so. You know those wimpy little plastic produce baggies? They didn't stand a chance. Introducing...Frankenapple! EEEK!

My poor Sexy Nerd. He was so happy to get his Mini Cooper . Although it was supposedly perfect when he bought it, he immediately devoted his time and money to making it even better with decals, new premium oil (though the dealership had just changed the oil), and a clear bra. As a side note, searching online for a “clear bra” made him very uncomfortable. (So he says!) Sadly, Sexy Nerd’s newly purchased Mini Cooper isn’t running. He spent all weekend working on it. Just as he was ready to put it back together, one of the bolts broke. You can just run down to any parts store and pick up another bolt, right? Nope! Mini bolts can only be replaced with Mini bolts. The Mini dealership was closed (of course!) leaving Sexy Nerd out of luck. Now, he won’t have time to fix his car until next weekend. A lot of good your fancy Hella racing lights are going to do you now, Sexy Nerd.   I feel bad for him. Really, I do. My pre-buying research showed that Consumer Reports warned again...

Our original agreement was that Sexy Nerd would buy an automatic Mini Cooper. That way, I could also drive it, if needed (like when he steals my beautiful, superior Chevy Volt). He can't be trusted. Our agreement popped right out of Sexy Nerd's head the instant he saw this Mini Cooper, which is a manual transmission. Compare this photo to the Mini Cooper I posted a few weeks ago . Yep, Sexy Nerd took no time going crazy with the decals. At least I was able to talk him out of painting flames on each mirror! We've made it through driving lesson #1 and are still a happy couple. The car is still working fine, as far as I can tell. No progress toward me actually being able to drive the Mini Cooper though. Why does anyone choose a manual transmission over an automatic? I can't figure out how to drive that crazy thing! After bringing the Mini Cooper to a shuddering, jerky halt for the 5th time, I asked Sexy Nerd if my problem was that I was releasing the clu...

Sexy Nerd's dream since before we even met has been to own a Mini Cooper. Yeah...that was news to me too! Clearly, jealousy has been eating away at Sexy Nerd ever since I got my 2013 Chevy Volt . Poor guy. I personally have never understood the Mini Cooper appeal. In fact, I tried to sway Sexy Nerd's choice from a used Mini Cooper S Hardtop to a Scion iQ while we were negotiating a deal at the Toyota dealership. It was brand-new, got much better gas mileage, and cost less than the used car he wanted. It even looked just as goofy! I don't get it. He sure loves his new (to him, at least) car though. "Did the Scion have a sunroof?" smart-alec Sexy Nerd just asked me, knowing full well that it did not. He loved the Mini Cooper even more after removing the stinky air fresheners hidden inside every vent. At first, Sexy Nerd had his heart set on British Racing Green, but he came around on this color after deciding that it complements his hat. ...

You know when you get the giggles, and it's just impossible to stop yourself from laughing? That happened to me today. Nothing was even funny, but I had to laugh. I would burst if I didn't la ugh. Sure, I tried to move my mind to a calm place. At one point during my point less hysteria, I even said ou t loud "Alright, I ' m going to be serious from her e on". That lasted ab out a minute. The trouble with tr ying not to laugh is that just thinking about not laughing makes the corners of my mouth turn up. Of course, getting the giggles isn't all that big a deal, right? T his happened while I was getting an hour-long full body massage. The super-sweet masseuse laughed right along with me, but I'm pretty sure hers was just the uncomfortable sound one makes when you're locked in a teensie room with a crazy person, five minutes into a looong session.

I'm afraid that I'm the recipient of this year's FAIL award. Remember how Sexy Nerd scored so many points with his Valentine's Day surprise ? I hadn't realized there was more to come. Look what was waiting for me when I opened my car door! Maybe GM could try this tactic to sell more Chevy Volts.   Awww! I love that crazy redneck of mine, Nascar addiction and all. (And Moonshiners.) (And Swamp Loggers.) (And Duck Dynasty, which I'll admit isn't terrible.) I wanted to do something equally nice for Sexy Nerd, but I'd waited too long to plan anything. I pondered what he might like while driving across town to my orthodontist appointment, which was to recement a broken bracket. By the way, it is easy peasy to get a last-minute orthodontist appointment on Valentine's Day. It's extra sucky though because you sit there getting your teeth tortured, thinking "so this is how I'm spending Valentine's Day".   Also, ...