Kitty Deschanel

I think my new neighbor down the street wants to be friends. He always says hello whenever our paths cross. I always pick up my pace. Yeah, it might be nice to actually know one of my neighbors. In another 2 years though, I'm probably going to move. As an antisocially awkward introverted mess, I've begun taking the long route to and from my mailbox in order to avoid passing his house. It was hot outside today and the coast was clear, so I thought the short route would be okay. Maybe he was waiting for me, which seems creepy when I write it like that though I actually don't think he meant to be creepy, but he timed it so we could chat while walking to our community mailbox together. I'm forced to talk to people all day at work. Don't make me socialize when I get home. He tried to shake my hand but I just wanted to grab my mail and get out of the sun. He has a name, but I have no idea what he said it is. Me: So, you just moved in? Him: About a year ago.  For

I was too tired this morning. Before work today, I simultaneously threw together an omelet on the stove and a breakfast drink in the Vitamix (no worries - I toned down my previous Vitamix recipe ingredient list!) The first day of school for Albuquerque kids is only one week away, so our pediatric dental office is packed with procrastinators (I waffled back and forth on crossing that last part out. You wouldn't believe how many parents have been calling, angry and insisting I get their child in before school starts. Didn't they have the entire summer to take care of this??) Anyhoo... I realized too late that my breakfast plans were overly ambitious and was left dashing to and from the stove, blender, fridge, and pantry to put everything together, trying frantically not to be late for work. I flung a handful of shredded cheddar on top of my omelet, whirled all the ingredients in the Vitamix, and sat down with two minutes to enjoy my breakfast. Everything tasted great. E

As a woman in my 30s, I'm well over the target age of the new Disney series Girl Meets World . But, of course, how can I not watch it? Cory and Topanga are back! They're just like me! And they're sooo old!   Cory and I grew up in a time without the internet, digital cameras, cell phones, hybrid cars, iPads, and reality shows. We grew up in the age of Paintbrush for Windows, a pre-Photoshop time where your photos were limited to looking more or less exactly as you took them (which was a surprise in itself, as you only got 24 photo opportunities per expensive roll.) And it was glorious. Why is this suddenly on my mind? I was browsing through my backup CDs from more than a decade ago (I could go back even further, but computers can't accommodate any of my floppy or zip disks anymore.) I found all kinds of nonsense .  My first ever conversation with Sexy Nerd was saved, which seems like a wonderfully romantic bonus of meeting your soulmate online...until you actually read

It took me until age 30 to finally accept the magic of liquid eyeliner. When I saw rows of dark brown L.A. Colors liquid eyeliner at Dollar Tree (only a buck!) it was impossible to resist any longer. I'm glad I came around - it makes such a difference. Still, being an eyeliner newbie, my morning routine comes to a serious, quiet halt each day as I try to patiently draw a thin, steady line on each eye. Some attempts are more successful than others. This morning, I drew the best eyeliner line ever on my right eyelid. Really, it was PERFECT! I should have taken a photo of it, in all its skinny, smudgeless glory. Quite pleased with myself, I popped the eyeliner brush back in its tube in preparation of what would surely be an equally successful left eye application. Then, this happened: The bristles refused to go back. I began to trim off the stragglers with my nail clippers, but soon realized they were all stragglers. In desperation, (hey, I had only one eye lined. And it wa