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No Boyfriend, No Problems

I'll never admit that I'm currently away on vacation. That said, the post below was written by my nifty guest blogger, Tina Lane.

Tina Lane originally posted this with a generic "Sexy Nerd" photo from a site with free photos. There can only be one Sexy Nerd on this blog though! Besides, it's hard to beat something like this when looking for a photo of a nerd (I'm saying this WITH LOVE, of course! Mwah, Sexy Nerd!)

I was visiting one of my new favorite blogs, Dry as Toast,when I glimpsed Dorkys, the fearless blog owner and karaoke singer, wearing a shirt that proclaimed: "No Boyfriend, No Problems." I kind of have to agree. Even though I am a happily married woman now, I was never really a huge fan of the boyfriend movement.

I am surprised that us ladies, in all of or our collective wisdom, have allowed this term to continue on unadulterated for so long. The word "boyfriend" is ambiguous at best and seems to serve some purpose other than direct and frank communication on the part of the boy. Is it serious? Is it not? Are there wedding bells? Are there not? Is he recently divorced, emotionally unavailable or otherwise in a state of crisis? Does he even know what he wants or is he still figuring things out? And what is this boy business about anyway? Is he a man or isn't he???

But I digress.

In the name of relationship sanity, the time has come to redefine the word "boyfriend" once and for all and put all of our cards on the table. Ahem...

Man-friend: A man that is interested in a long-term monogamous relationship that will not necessarily end in marriage. This lifelong bachelor is usually rather pleased with himself, accomplished, and/or has already lived a full life. Think Mr. Big from Sex in the City.

Play-friend: A man that is interested in dating for entertainment purposes only. Said man is usually charming, extremely handsome, and dating several women at once. Also known as a man-slut.

Man-daddy: An older gentleman who is willing to lavish you with gifts in exchange for your attention. Think Richard Gere in Pretty Woman.

Man-bitch: Someone who is willing to be your girlfriend until you finally come around to having feelings for him. This is usually the guy who invites you to go shopping and offers to hold your purse. Not to be confused with a gay-man.

Boyfrusband: This man is looking for all the comforts of a monogamous relationship without any of the demands. Very often in the middle of a crisis or major transition, he is looking for something to get him over the hump until he decides what he wants. This man is very likely to make a commitment in future, but it may not be to you. Think Joaquin Phoenix in Walk the Line.

Man-candy: He has absolutely no idea what he wants but makes for good company. Sometimes mistaken as mysterious or cool, Man-candy can often escalate into a Man-boy. See following definition.

Man-boy: This is the polar opposite of the Man-daddy. Every Man-boy has his price, and it often involves free rent and utilities.

Husband-elect: A man who is openly interviewing for a position as husband or lifelong partner.

If I am missing anyone ladies, please chime in. This is a group effort, after all.

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