Skip to main content

No Boyfriend, No Problems

I'll never admit that I'm currently away on vacation. That said, the post below was written by my nifty guest blogger, Tina Lane.

Tina Lane originally posted this with a generic "Sexy Nerd" photo from a site with free photos. There can only be one Sexy Nerd on this blog though! Besides, it's hard to beat something like this when looking for a photo of a nerd (I'm saying this WITH LOVE, of course! Mwah, Sexy Nerd!)

I was visiting one of my new favorite blogs, Dry as Toast,when I glimpsed Dorkys, the fearless blog owner and karaoke singer, wearing a shirt that proclaimed: "No Boyfriend, No Problems." I kind of have to agree. Even though I am a happily married woman now, I was never really a huge fan of the boyfriend movement.

I am surprised that us ladies, in all of or our collective wisdom, have allowed this term to continue on unadulterated for so long. The word "boyfriend" is ambiguous at best and seems to serve some purpose other than direct and frank communication on the part of the boy. Is it serious? Is it not? Are there wedding bells? Are there not? Is he recently divorced, emotionally unavailable or otherwise in a state of crisis? Does he even know what he wants or is he still figuring things out? And what is this boy business about anyway? Is he a man or isn't he???

But I digress.

In the name of relationship sanity, the time has come to redefine the word "boyfriend" once and for all and put all of our cards on the table. Ahem...

Man-friend: A man that is interested in a long-term monogamous relationship that will not necessarily end in marriage. This lifelong bachelor is usually rather pleased with himself, accomplished, and/or has already lived a full life. Think Mr. Big from Sex in the City.

Play-friend: A man that is interested in dating for entertainment purposes only. Said man is usually charming, extremely handsome, and dating several women at once. Also known as a man-slut.

Man-daddy: An older gentleman who is willing to lavish you with gifts in exchange for your attention. Think Richard Gere in Pretty Woman.

Man-bitch: Someone who is willing to be your girlfriend until you finally come around to having feelings for him. This is usually the guy who invites you to go shopping and offers to hold your purse. Not to be confused with a gay-man.

Boyfrusband: This man is looking for all the comforts of a monogamous relationship without any of the demands. Very often in the middle of a crisis or major transition, he is looking for something to get him over the hump until he decides what he wants. This man is very likely to make a commitment in future, but it may not be to you. Think Joaquin Phoenix in Walk the Line.

Man-candy: He has absolutely no idea what he wants but makes for good company. Sometimes mistaken as mysterious or cool, Man-candy can often escalate into a Man-boy. See following definition.

Man-boy: This is the polar opposite of the Man-daddy. Every Man-boy has his price, and it often involves free rent and utilities.

Husband-elect: A man who is openly interviewing for a position as husband or lifelong partner.

If I am missing anyone ladies, please chime in. This is a group effort, after all.

Popular posts from this blog

Cake Mix Pancakes

This reader-favorite recipe is *almost* as popular as my Cake Mix Cookie Bars recipe .  When making Cake Mix pancakes , the scrumptious possibilities are endless. Red Velvet cake mix pancakes. Chocolate cake mix pancakes. Butter Pecan cake mix pancakes. Funfetti cake mix pancakes. (Yes, Funfetti cake mix pancakes!) With this 2-ingredient recipe, you can turn your favorite cake mix into your favorite pancakes. Pancake making at its finest. Cake Mix Pancakes Personally, I think my funny napkin is the icing on the (pan)cake. It's Sunday morning and you're planning to do all the things today - scrub those grody baseboards, polish your quartz countertop that was supposed to be low maintenance but actually isn't at all, sort through the disaster that is the freezer.  While on your superhuman kick, you think I'm going to make my family pancakes for breakfast. Not just any pancakes - the best pancakes ever. I may even serve them as breakfast in bed! You pu

Chemical Peel Before & After

This article has been updated! My new chemical peel post, which includes pricing, Jessner peel before and after photos, product recommendations, and a helpful timeline for scheduling your treatments, is at the bottom. My original Jessner peel post (one of the most popular on my site of all time) is at the beginning. Original Chemical Peel Article Considering a chemical peel? I recently underwent my first Jessner peel and thought I'd share my results, post a Jessner peel review, and answer some frequently asked chemical peel questions. (I'm guessing that "Does a chemical peel hurt?" is a biggie!) I'd been planning to order an over-the-counter peel when we were in Iceland , but my computer led me a different direction. I decided to do this on a whim after Groupon greeted me one morning with a great $40 chemical peel deal. Now, I can read your mind. You just gasped in horror and thought  You trusted your face to a  discount  chemical peel?!  You're wondering w

How to Move a Mattress

My site is popular for reviewing memory foam mattresses. With today's bed-in-a-box options lasting much longer than the traditional 7 years of a spring mattress, there's a good chance you'll eventually need to move one. But how? This is  how to move a mattress  without damaging it - even by yourself!  When we were faced with the challenge of moving our beloved Amerisleep AS3  to our new home, it seemed like my readers would enjoy the details. This handy tip should work for any memory foam bed, including Casper, Leesa, and Nectar.  I'm happy to report there is an extremely simple way to do it. Apartment and dorm dwellers rejoice! How to Move a Mattress At first, I wasn't sure how to move our king-size mattress down a flight of stairs. It's a problem we've dreaded solving ever since we made the decision to build a new house.  The answer? It was right in the back of our truck.  Ratchet straps . This solution could also serve as a 'How To' for returning

10 Canned Cinnamon Roll Hacks

You're in for a treat. Today I'm sharing my best canned cinnamon roll hacks and improvements for turning store-bought cinnamon rolls, like the Pillsbury Grands ones or even the store brand, into something special.  Dry cinnamon rolls? No thank you. They need to be OOEY and GOOEY. That's just Cinnamon Roll 101. All of these ideas keep Pillsbury canned cinnamon rolls soft, company-worthy, and delicious. These are also great for taking homemade cinnamon rolls up a notch, but what a pain that is. With these better-than-homemade canned cinnamon roll hacks, you'll never bother to bake them from scratch again. Test out some of these ideas tomorrow. Won't it be nice to dig into a mouthwatering cinnamon roll for breakfast? You can't get a better start to your day than that. Canned Cinnamon Roll Hacks Actually, make that 11 easy ways to improve store-bought cinnamon rolls: you can top them with homemade coffee whipped cream . Yum! Nope, make that 12 canned cinnam

Reuzel: Grooming Tonic Industry Review

I'm looking out for you, my bloggy friends. At my last haircut, the hairdresser shared his favorite hair product of all time, REUZEL (which I'd never heard of), with me and I had enough sense to get the details to share with you. He didn't even have a bottle of it to sell me. It was a genuine, honest review. Also, are they still called hairdressers? Is this the equivalent of calling your flight attendant a stewardess? Stylist? Barber? Reuzel  Grooming Tonic Review You know those men who have the softest, most perfect hair and it seems so unfair because most men don't even care about their hair? (Or so they say.) I think this is their secret. While you're here, be sure to read my  funny haircut story . Geez, I'm awkward. The fact that I was brave enough to ask to take this photo at the salon is proof I love my blog readers. Never heard of it? That's probably because Reuzel Grooming Tonic is marketed toward men. From reading their endless 5-star reviews, men

Dental Memes

As the manager of two successful dental offices, my favorite memes are ones I can share with my dentistry dream team.  Happy Team = Living the Dream! You don't have to work in dentistry to enjoy these. After all, everyone is a dental patient. You have visited the dentist within at least the year...right? (No guilt if you haven't! I've scheduled patients who haven't seen a dentist since the 1970s. Dentists, dental assistants, dental hygienists, and dental administrators have seen it all. We love this field because we love helping our patients. It's never too late to get back on track!) Funny Memes for Dentists Reminder: National Dentist's Appreciation Day is March 6th! Funny Memes for Dental Hygienists Reminder: National Dental Hygienist Appreciation Week is always the 2nd week of April! Funny Memes for Dental Assistants Reminder: National Dental Assistant Appreciation Week is always the 2nd week of March! Funny Memes for Dental Office Administrators Reminder: Ad

Hello Fresh Complaints

Hello, my bloggy friends. I have a HelloFresh complaint and believe they are pulling a scam. Yours truly came *this close* to falling for it.  Maybe scam is too harsh of a word. Sneaky? You can decide for yourself. The fact that there are so many Hello Fresh complaints online does seem suspicious. My main complaint about Hello Fresh has to do with their promotional rate, which seems like it is set up to be intentionally misleading (more on this below). Despite so many people complaining about being charged more than they thought they'd agreed to, Hello Fresh maintains this as part of their business model and continues to mislead. So it's intentional, right? I do not recommend Hello Fresh. For starters, the service is just ingredients-by-mail with recipes, not meals. You can buy your own ingredients for much less, especially now that most grocery stores conveniently offer pickup and delivery. Excellent recipes are easy to find.  Click here for a list of top-rated, reader-favorit

3 Minute Toaster/Convection Oven Smores

These are perfect when you're craving a quick, sugary treat. They work equally well in a toaster oven and a convection oven. Best of all, compared to eating an entire bag of Oreos (something I have never  done), they're quite healthy. What's that, you say? You already know how to make s'mores in the toaster oven? Well then, sit back and enjoy the ooey-gooey marshmallowy photos. (And if you're someone who works with me, please keep the "I've seen her polish off an entire bag of Oreo cookies" nonsense to yourself.)  Step 1: Put desired amount of graham crackers on a toaster oven/convection oven-safe pan.   Looks like it's time to clean this pan, Sexy Nerd Optional 1st step, which is Sexy Nerd's favorite: Spread peanut butter on each graham cracker (I'm not much of a peanut butter fan - WHAT?!? - so I skip this step.) Cover with yummy marshmallows. Top with chocolate chips. Place in the toaster o

Field and Vine, Friends and Wine: Our Dinner in the Field

Dreaming of a farm-to-table experience on an actual farm? Sexy Nerd and I have discovered Field & Vine, an Oregon company that hosts special dinners and events. Don't get too attached to Bessie over there... Clarification: Bessie is a cow over in the field, not me. You cannot see the cow in the photo. Again, I am not Bessie. A Night of Culinary Connection and Wine-Fueled Friendships Last July, on a quest to conquer Oregon's wonders and combat adulting fatigue, we stumbled upon the "Dinner in the Field" event at Marion Acres hosted by Field & Vine. This wasn't your average dinner party; it was a celebration of local bounty, exceptional wines, and the joy of finding kindred spirits over shared plates. Surrounded by friendly faces and glasses filled with Suzor wines, we indulged in a multi-course masterpiece showcasing the heart and soul of Marion Acres. It wasn't just about the food; it was about the entire experience. Marion Acres: From Humble Beginning

Oatmeal with Quinoa

*Do not add chia seeds - see note at the end of this recipe. In response to my popular Instant Pot Explosion blog post, I've had a few blog readers ask for my oatmeal with quinoa recipe, which is made in the Instant Pot. This seems a bit odd...you guys aren't trying to recreate that gooey mess in your own kitchens, right?  My recipe does make delicious, foolproof Instant Pot oatmeal. It's only for patient people though. Whatever you do, do not manually release the pressure valve at the end of the cooking cycle! This recipe is also great in a Crock Pot, though that method takes longer. I like to set the temperature to Low before bed. What a hearty, indulgent breakfast to wake up to!  I've been cooking up batches of my Oatmeal with Quinoa for years, long before I'd heard of the Instant Pot, and have even gifted the dry ingredients to health-conscious friends and family, who've suggested I sell this. Shark Tank, here I come! Oatmeal with Quinoa Featured