I Hope I Didn't Brain My Damage

I installed the Lumosity brain training app weeks ago, then completely forgot about it until last night. That should have been my first clue. To get started with the app, I played three games which tested my "Memory Matrix", "Speed Match", and "Train of Thought" and received a Fit Test score.

 
 Yes! I am a genius. Take that, inferior drolls of society, and bow before my greatness.

Surely even Stephen Hawking gets distracted from time to time. Even so, this score was a disappointment after my victorious Speed Match test and seemed not-at-all geniusy. Further salting the wound, 76 is my most hated number.

Come to think of it, 76 is my only hated number. (It's a long, dragon-related story.)

The Train of Thought test had to be defective. My remaining score would concrete my value to society and elevate me to godlike status. Even better, Sexy Nerd would be super impressed.

I am an idiot.

Overpriced Wedding Flowers

Our 9 year wedding anniversary is almost here already! These photos were taken on January 10th, 2008 on our way from the wedding to the reception. It was the 4 year anniversary of our first date.

So young. So dorky.
For another digital scrapbook page from our wedding album, click here.

Dental Reception: Sometimes It's Like Pulling Teeth

January 2017 will mark twelve years at my job at a children's dental office, which is 99% of the reason Sexy Nerd and I don't have any kids. It's a job I mostly love, unexpected as it started as just an internship-like side gig between college classes and my "real" job. Here's a little taste of what I've been putting up with during that time, with the name of my boss changed for privacy...though any computer-savvy person will be able to figure out the real name without much sleuthing:

Me: Thank you for calling Dr. Simon’s office. This is Kitty. How may I help you?

*Beep*

Me: Hello?

*Boop*

Me: This is Dr. Simon’s office. Can you hear me?

Angry Caller: I WANT TO TALK TO A REAL PERSON (followed by a surprisingly long list of profanities)

Awkward silence

Me: This is Kitty with Dr. Simon’s office…I’m a real person.

Angry Caller: YOU’RE A REAL PERSON?

Me: Yes. Are you trying to reach Dr. Simon’s office?

Angry Caller: WELL IT’S ABOUT TIME! I CAN NEVER GET A REAL PERSON AND I NEED TO GET SOMEONE OUT HERE TO MY HOUSE!

Me: I think you may have the wrong number. Are you trying to reach a pediatric dentist?

Angry Caller: QWEST! THIS IS QWEST, RIGHT?

Me: No, sorry. You have the wrong number. This is Dr. Simon’s office. She’s a dentist.

Awkward silence

Overly-Apologetic Caller: Oh my God, I thought you were a computer. I'm so sorry! I never would have yelled at you had I known!

Me: That's okay! Good luck trying to reach Qwest. I know they can be frustrating. Have a nice day!

Overly-Apologetic Caller Who I Cannot Get Off the Phone: I kept pressing buttons thinking that's what I had to do. Oh, it must have been right in your ear! I'm so sorry! Oh, I feel awful about that. And I've taken so much of your time! Sorry again.

Me: Don't worry about it. Have a great day!

Crazy Woman Who Refuses to Hang Up: You even told me, didn't you. Oh, again I am just so, so sorry. I'm embarrassed. I can't believe I did that. I've taken up so much of your time. I really can't apologize enough.
WHY IS THIS CONVERSATION STILL HAPPENING?!

This is the transcript of an actual phone conversation I had earlier this week, abruptly shortened as I thought my readers would lose their minds reading through the 27 additional back-and-forth exchanges between myself and this woman, all in an attempt to terminate the neverending call.

Career goals for 2017: Be less patient and be less nice. The stereotypical rude receptionist who is sarcastic and puts you on hold forever? Embrace the stereotype.

Construction Photos: It's All in the Details

Another construction-crammed post already?? We're finally building our dream home. It's too exciting not to share!

Unlike my previous post, I'll try to rein in my rambling on this one and just share photos. You can jump to your own conclusion on things, such as whether or not some of the windows appear to be tied with string.

(They totally do. Ack!)


Foyer

View from the Foyer

My Office

Hallway

Hallway Bathroom

I know I'm supposed to be skipping the commentary, but it's worth pointing out that, yes, that is a curved floor to go underneath the bathroom vanity. It's a crazy house, so why not?

Master Bedroom

See the fireplace? It's going to look real, but won't actually be functional because YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH A FIREPLACE COSTS. Seriously, it's disgusting.

My Closet

Sexy Nerd insisted on adding skylights to my closet, though I begged to remove them from the plan for months. He says they will not fade or affect my clothing in any way whatsoever. I'd like to believe him, but then I look at the curtains in our current bedroom, which are high quality and fairly new and are faded/ruined/destroyed by the sun. My clothes are afraid and I'm afraid for them.

Theater Room Ceiling

I couldn't picture this before it was framed and I can't picture it now. Sexy Nerd says I'm going to love it, but it looks like there is a small border around one side that is not duplicated on the other side, which leads me to believe I'm going to hate it. Fingers crossed that I'm wrong on this one.

Hallway Ceiling

It looks asymmetrical to me, but Sexy Nerd insists that's just in my head. You see it too, right?

Sauna

I can't wait to get it out of our current dining room, where it has been taking up space for nearly TWO YEARS!

Looking into the Theater Room

Hallway Skylight

I've bought the perfect 4' carved panel to place in the opening, which I'm hoping will cast a beautiful pattern on the floor below.

Also, I seem to be having trouble with the whole "no commentary" thing on this blog post.

Hallway

Sexy Nerd and the crew at Panorama Homes have affectionately named this "the crapper window".

*Sigh*

(Oh, who am I kidding? That's funny.)

Back of the House

Living Room

Oh, I just can't wait to live in this house!

House Update: We Have Windows!

Five months into construction, the windows were installed.

I had to double check that last sentence after typing it. Has it really been only five months? We're so eager to get into our new home, it feels like Panorama Homes has been building it forever, with no end in sight. We broke ground at the end of June and the windows were installed right before Thanksgiving.

That still doesn't seem right. Also, I am way behind on my blogging.

Sexy Nerd and I went around and around on windows, waging a heated battle between Pella and Amsco. What's that? You've never heard of Amsco windows? Supposedly, if my husband and our builder and our foreman and dozens of Google reviews are to be believed, Amsco is far superior to Pella in every way.

Still, it would have been nice to install just two Pella windows, purely for the sake of being able to say "Our house has Pella windows," without it being a complete lie. According to the Pella salesman though, their windows don't actually say Pella anywhere...so what's the point?

Here are our living room windows, as seen from a windowless room.

My dad doesn't understand why we bothered with the divided light windows at the top. I think they're cute! They add character and they were one of the non-negotiable items on my design wish list.

Which, I suppose, makes it a design demand list.

Can you tell I'm partial to divided light windows?

I do have an Amsco window complaint, although I'm told this is the same for all windows. Fine, I have a complaint about all windows. See those adorable little squares on the right, complete with charming, perfectly proportionate mullions? See that enormous window on the left, the one that appears to be tied to the wall with a cheap piece of string? No matter what size window you purchase, they install the exact same ten-cent mullion between the glass.

BIGGER WINDOWS = BIGGER MULLIONS

I can't be the only person who feels this way. Get it together, window companies.

Ack! When I'm in the dining nook, I'll just stare at the ceiling. This was going to be one of my favorite windows and it looks so awful, especially with the reminder of how it should be just outside, taunting me with its proportionate mullion goodness. 

"Nyah, nyah," it says.

For months I tried to add upper windows to our foyer, but everyone told me not to bother, insisting 8' tall entry doors would be more than enough. I finally got them and I love them. Phooey to you folks who did not share my vision.

Phooey to you, Sexy Nerd.

I also had to battle you-know-who to get these three windows above my kitchen sink. Now, he loves them. LISTEN TO YOUR CLEVER WIFE, SEXY NERD! 

That said...

Here is a view through an interior window in the foyer. Yes, those are especially tall ceilings for a bathroom. The square at the top of the especially tall wall? It was a last minute idea and Sexy Nerd might hang a bell inside. Of course, he will need to somehow build a custom-sized bell for this to work.

He says he'll run a rope down the wall so that people can ding the bell when they're done using the toilet.

He's joking...I think.

Whenever a contractor steps unsuspectingly into this bathroom, they look up.
And.They.Laugh. 

It might turn out to be the most amazing bathroom in the history of bathrooms, starting a long-lasting trend of mega-ceilinged, super-bathrooms. Anything is possible.

Perhaps Sexy Nerd should have reined in my insanity creativity on this one. He picked his battles.

He may have picked wrong.

From inside the elegant funhouse bathroom, I thought you'd be able to see the sky through the kitchen windows. You almost see a sliver, but the curved ceiling of the hallway takes up the entire view.

Which is sort of neat too.

Behold, another window with insufficiently scaled mullions.

We debated and ultimately opted for tempered privacy glass here, which still seems ugly to me. It's a shower window. If I could go back, I would do away with the lower window altogether and just go with the upper squares, which are high enough that privacy isn't a concern. The trouble with designing a home from scratch (well, one of many troubles) is that windows look great on paper. It's just $200 here and another $300 there, which feels like it's in the noise when your budget is hundreds of thousands of dollars.

When you look at the resulting ugly window every day, knowing well that it cost more than a 5-night cruise, your soul dies a little and you curse your younger, idiot self. 

Complaining aside, most of the windows turned out exactly as we'd hoped and we can't wait to move in.

These windows, which are in the kitchen, turned out great. I've been toying with the idea of having identical mirrors cut to hang on the opposite, windowless wall. Do they make mirrors that large?

If they do, will the price knock me over?

Other than mirrors, I have no idea what to place in the wall triangle. Decorating experts recommend not drawing attention to it by simply leaving it blank.

Could it really be that simple?

Visualize this with the word "Eight" spelled out in fancy cursive letters above the entryway. 
I wasn't going to type that, thinking it would give away our address, but it's not like I would have a house with fancy cursive letters and not share a photo of it online. Heck, I'm so excited about the fancy cursive letters that I'm telling you about them before I've even figured out how to make them happen! They will be large and they will be cursive and they will be the epitome of fancy.

I love this house.
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