Kitty Deschanel

One of our 4 rescue dogs , Bernadette, likes to launch herself over the rose bushes and through the trees as fast as possible. The branches usually just break away.   Usually.  This time, a branch took a chunk out of her side. Posted before the drama: Hopefully your weekend is less expensive than mine. We just got home from the vet. All is well, but my wallet hurts. Here's Bernadette after having her temperature taken and being told she has buns of steel. After the thermometer thing, Bernadette didn't want to make eye contact. (Side note: If you're in NM, you can't beat Canyon Crossroads. Their veterinarian, Dr. Janeen Counts, is wonderful! You can tell she loves animals. I joke about the cost, but they're actually quite reasonably priced.) Posted after the drama: You know how we went to the vet? Well, we almost went again. We returned home and found a shirt to cover Bernadette's staples so she wouldn't mess with them. She actually seemed to enjoy wearing it

Inspired by the popularity of my other memes posts, Funny Memes and Dog Memes , I have a new collection of memes for you to enjoy. I waste my life on the internet so you don't have to. Bookmark this post because I'll be adding to it as I find new memes for Xmas. Christmas Memes and More Fair warning that some of these are in poor taste. Isn't that usually the funniest meme?

Sexy Nerd takes it upon himself every year to dole out the Halloween candy. Interacting with trick-or-treaters and their hovering parents is a bit much for antisocial me, so this works out perfectly. It's also an ideal situation for the kids, because Sexy Nerd is a pushover and easily forgets all about my stingy "2 candies each" rule whenever a child with an adorable costume or sweet voice shows up at our door, scooping up enormous handfuls of candy instead. Spoiler: They all have adorable costumes and/or sweet voices. Our first year in our first home, one trick-or-treater was a little boy dressed as a skunk. He was only about 2 and had the most adorable Halloween costume ever, along with an irresistible "Twick-or-Tweat Pwease". His mom was holding his bag of candy at the end of our driveway, so he held out his furry, mittened skunk hands. Sexy Nerd was no match for the cuteness and gladly forked over a massive handful of Tootsie Rolls, Caramels, and Gummy C

Making Friends As An Adult  Popular, you're gonna be popular. I'll teach you the proper poise when you talk to boys. Little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh! I'll show you what shoes to wear, how to fix your hair. Everything that really counts... I was very popular today. Popular, I'll help you be popular. You'll hang with the right cohorts, you'll be good at sports. Know the slang you've got to know... I stopped at the grocery store and instantly regretted it once I saw the crowd, realizing too late it was too close to the holiday weekend for a quick stop. I grabbed one of those little carts with an upper and lower basket and squeezed my way in, planning to grab just a few things and get the heck out of there. I hate crowds. I suppose everyone hates crowds, at least at the grocery store. Popular, I know about popular. And with an assist from me to be who you'll be... While walking toward the watermelon, I noticed two shopping carts full of wine with

 Remember when Olive and Bernadette recently  flooded our new home ? We all had a good laugh (except when the water bill arrived...and the gas bill, because of course they used the hot water...and every time I look at our baseboards, which have warped right off of the walls). Despite this nonsense, do you know what I told everyone the next day? "At least our floors are clean." Ha, ha, ha, ha. All they do is sleep all day, so surely these two sweet pups would never cause any trouble. (The chair askew is a little hint that they cause sooo much trouble.) The morning after the flood, I got up early, making sure to give Olive and Bernadette plenty of time to romp outside prior to heading to work. All they did was sit on the patio and stare at me, longing to come inside to nap. Of course, the moment they were inside? Romp, romp, romp, romp. You know the pack of rambunctious dogs in the movie A Christmas Story who tear through the house and ruin the holiday turkey? These girls are

Let me start this post by stating, for the record, that I stay at Marriott hotels all the time. I'm in it for the breakfast and when a hotel doesn't include this, I stay elsewhere. I am a hotel waffle-making pro . Then again, making your own waffle is easy peasy, right? Behold, the tower of waffle batter goodness. How many gallons does it contain? We would soon find out. I always look forward to creating a decadent hotel waffle. The fateful Monday morning after the Summit County Parade of Homes was no exception and I was pleased to discover that no one was using the waffle iron, despite the crowd in the hotel breakfast room. It's no secret that I'm a social-anxiety mess, even with something as basic as navigating a shared waffle iron, so this was a relief and a great start to my day. I picked up my little plastic batter cup. I pressed down on the dispenser nozzle, as I've done 100 times. And then... The nozzle broke off. It just snapped right off

This is my  "Can you believe these are really my teeth?!"  face. Braces Before & After My mom insists I've done so much to my teeth that they're going to fall out. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY, MOM! For the record, my teeth are all icky and brown in the middle photo above for two reasons: I'd recently gotten my braces off. Teeth with braces are impossible to keep clean. In preparation for gum surgery, I'd been using a prescription mouthwash that removes any trace of white from your teeth. I've had a terrible smile ever since 3rd grade, when I fell face-first onto the road and fractured my front teeth. My dentist at the time did the best he could to make them look nice, but dental technology in the early 90s just wasn't what it is today. Plus, let's face it, a 3rd grader is rarely a model patient.  Fearing braces, which I was convinced would be painful (not to mention that I was more than awkward and dorky enough without