A Deathlike Slumber

Sexy Nerd and I have been together for more than 11 years. Keep this in mind while reading the following conversation we had yesterday:

Sexy Nerd: Hey! You know what I noticed the other night? You have sleep apnea.

Me: Wha?!

Sexy Nerd: You just stopped breathing the other night. You weren't breathing for, like, a minute. Then, you were gasping for breath. Then, you woke up. That must have been the cause of your insomnia problem all along. Sleep apnea!

Me: So, you think I've always stopped breathing for dangerous amounts of time, every night that you've known me?

Sexy Nerd: Yeah!

Me: And...you never noticed...in more than eleven years?

Sexy Nerd: ...

Me: And how long were you going to wait to see if I started breathing again? A minute seems like kind of a long time, don't you think?

Sexy Nerd: ...I...didn't want to risk waking you...because I love you...

So, apparently this is what my (most likely shortened) future holds:

CPAP machine - no way, jose

*Update*
Since writing this post, I've had a sleep study and have determined I have many sleep problems, but sleep apnea isn't one of them.

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