The Impossible Task of Photo Sorting

A few years ago, I backed up my millions of photo and video files on a flash drive. I was glad I'd planned ahead...until I actually needed the files and discovered the flash drive had removed all the details! The files were still there, but instead of carefully sorted folders and file names, now they're all in one giant mishmash folder with names like T58146297, unable to be sorted by date. Oh, and the flash drive disaster created multiple copies of the same file in multiple sizes with multiple names.

Ugh.

Today I'm finally making an attempt to organize the files again. It's a slow process though, partly because everything is so jumbled, but mostly because I'm easily distracted. I haven't looked at these photos in years!

With my BFF in 2008, who I haven't seen since that same year.

I was a muddy bride.

 My brother and I in the Seychelles, clearly appreciative that our parents were willing to fly us across the world to a tropical paradise.
(Whoops!)

"Hey, Sexy Nerd, go stand in front of that giant lobster in the rain." 

You think you're aging well and haven't really gained any weight. Then you find a photo of yourself from a decade ago and it's nothing but cucumbers and exercise from now on.

You know, after I finish the junk food we've already purchased. Waste not, want not, right?

Also, those shorts were hideous.

For some reason, I saved a photo of Sexy Nerd pretending to kick a cat, which he would obviously never actually do. This must have been taken around 2004, when we were first dating. It was a really sweet cat. Why did either of us think this was funny?

Sexy Nerd's Match.com photo!
I actually deleted his messages a few times because of this photo, which reminded me of my 8th grade computer teacher. Thank goodness he was persistent.

Should I cut my hair short again?

We tried to stop her, but young Pica was always determined to be as close to the fire as possible. The responsible adult I've become sees this and feels bad for our old landlord.

The little girl in the center of this photo is all grown up now!

Best. Llama. Photo. Ever. 

Sexy Nerd was all about the finger shoes craze.

We'd had big plans for this camper, which we had affectionately named Gimpy. It was ours for about a day before we came to our senses.

I've made it through about 400 photos. Just a few thousand more to go.

Snakes in the Trees

Alternate Post Titles:

Never Stepping Outside Again
Are You Freaking Kidding Me?
This Was Not Disclosed at Closing
OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!

You may recall I was understandably shaken by my first snake encounter at our soon-to-be dream home. Bull snakes are stealthy little ninjas of doom! But that was nothing.

Photo from our neighborhood newsletter.
What the hell, nature? What. The. Hell.

What I want to know is, why didn't the photographer set this tree on fire?

You think you're going to enjoy a relaxing day at a top-rated golf course, breathing in the fresh mountain air, but little did you consider each breath may be your last. These, my friend, are snakes called Red Racers. After learning they reside in my new neighborhood, I did some Googling. What do you get when you search "red racer snake"?

*Warning - not for the squeamish*
(So, I really shouldn't have watched it.)

THERE ARE SNAKES LIVING IN THE TREES, PEOPLE! Aggressive ones. I could be meandering through our 13 acres, minding my own business, and BAM - a gang of Red Racer snakes eats my face off. I think I'm going to be sick.

Our entire property is trees, trees, and more trees. Just as the snakes planned all along.

But there was still some hope for our new home and my face. The photo above of the Red Racers was taken at the golf course. I'm not going to live anywhere near the golf course! It's the grass and the water and the endless supply of unsuspecting victims that appeals to the Red Racers. Crisis averted, right?

Do you see them? I'm never going to spot them until it's too late.
This photo was taken steps away from my neighbor's patio, close enough the snakes could slingshot themselves right into the house, fangs wide and red eyes gleaming.

If you need me, I'll be in the corner, rocking back and forth.

Blackout

We had a blackout here in Albuquerque tonight. Despite the heat, I used the break from Wi-Fi (it seems the only way to get me off the computer is to give me no choice) to enjoy an hour of yoga and meditation. Afterward, I stood in front of my office window, allowing the cool breeze and total darkness to calm my mind further. There's something hypnotic about watching your always buzzing neighborhood reduced to total, silent blackness. No drone of swamp coolers. No conversations escaping from a patio. Nothing. I felt renewed, hopeful for the day ahead and for life in general.

Without warning, the power flickered back on, blasting the lights on porches, street corners, and from windows. And as I continued to gaze from my office, all feelings of tranquility were replaced with shock.

The instant the lights returned, three people in the street took off running different directions. A man and woman together, as well as a man on his own. They were wearing all black and they'd been there the entire time. I'd been staring right outside with no idea.

These three had been using the power outage as an opportunity to break into their own neighbors' cars.

Maybe She Was Driving To The Police Station

There's a high school down the street from my office. You never know what you're going to see.

On my drive home one day, I watched a young driver turn out of the school parking lot. She slammed into the SUV in front of her and put her hands to her head, probably thinking something like OH NO, OH NO, OH NO. I felt bad for her, especially with her classmates everywhere. Some were pointing. Some were laughing. Scarred for life, right? Well, the poor girl made things much worse.

She put her car into reverse and pulled around the SUV, trying to drive away like nothing had happened. I didn't feel quite as bad for her anymore, what with her brazen criminal ways and lack of smarts on display. At just after 5pm, summer school had just gotten out, along with most of the many offices along the street. She was caught in a traffic jam! Knowing this, she still tried to drive away.

The driver of the SUV pulled over, got out of her car, and slowly walked around the car that had hit her, taking photos with her cell phone every step of the way. The young girl never wavered from her decision to pretend nothing had happened. Her gaze was fixed on the road ahead, her hands were at 10 and 2, and she continued to drive away, albeit just a slow creep forward toward the distant red light.

Many students enroll in summer school for admirable reasons, like getting a head start on the new school year. I don't think that's why this particular girl was there.

No hit-and-runs here. Sexy Nerd is a stickler for the rules.

I will never miss being a teenager.
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