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Showing posts with the label Things to Make You Laugh

Baby Halloween Costume, No Baby Necessary

Sexy Nerd takes it upon himself every year to dole out the Halloween candy. Interacting with trick-or-treaters and their hovering parents is a bit much for antisocial me, so this works out perfectly. It's also an ideal situation for the kids, because Sexy Nerd is a pushover and easily forgets all about my stingy "2 candies each" rule whenever a child with an adorable costume or sweet voice shows up at our door, scooping up enormous handfuls of candy instead. Spoiler: They all have adorable costumes and/or sweet voices. Our first year in our first home, one trick-or-treater was a little boy dressed as a skunk. He was only about 2 and had the most adorable Halloween costume ever, along with an irresistible "Twick-or-Tweat Pwease". His mom was holding his bag of candy at the end of our driveway, so he held out his furry, mittened skunk hands. Sexy Nerd was no match for the cuteness and gladly forked over a massive handful of Tootsie Rolls, Caramels, and Gummy C

ABQ Zoo Quote of the Day

Happy Valentine's Day, my bloggy friends! We had a romantic evening sampling Church's Chicken. Thumbs up for their chicken tenders. Now, we're settling in for the night with a cozy Pass and Play game of Words with Friends. Valentine's Day just isn't the same when you're old and married, is it? Who's up for an old, romantic story? Let's not call it a repost. It's a blog classic . Sexy Nerd and I spent Friday morning at the Albuquerque Zoo* (you know, the one notorious for dismembered giraffes and break-ins by idiots). There was a small group of women with their young children walking ahead of us when we crossed paths with a few peacocks. Hey baby. One woman began to explain to her children that the male peacock is the one with the beautiful feathers, which he uses to attract a mate. Normal enough. The other woman, however, jumped in very enthusiastically (and probably more loudly than she'd intended) and said: "If I

LambAround Comic Strip #3

A disclaimer from Sexy Nerd: He would never say anything like this!

Beware of (CUTE) Identity Theft this Easter

I'll start this post with a confession: back when I was an evil little girl (muah ha ha - my evil laugh), I would: Set my alarm extra-early on Easter. Get into the Easter baskets, all alone. Break my little brother's chocolate Easter bunny, just to be a jerk. Move a few pieces of his candy into my basket. Put the baskets back like nothing happened. Go back to bed. That's right, Michael. You read that right.  Muah ha ha! One more quick thing. If you're having people over for Easter brunch and need a great recipe, make a Dutch Baby . It's the only time I recommend baby-eating. If you're looking for the cutest Easter craft ever , try these Peeps nests . And if my evil laugh really spoke to you, check out my delirious  murdered Peeps . So Eastery! Okay, on to the cute identity theft: Happy Easter!

Confessions of a Shopaholic

I don't need any clothes. NONE. I actually stole a bunch of space from our master bedroom and had Sexy Nerd build me a new, enormous walk-in closet because the walk-in closet our house came with wasn't large enough. That new closet? It's full. In fact, the clothes inside that new closet have expanded into the walk-in closet of our guest bedroom. It's getting full too. Which is why this next image is so concerning: ( ThredUP deals...I was just browsing, but somehow ended up with several hundred dollars in my shopping cart) I knew not to spend so much on clothes, so I whittled down my cart. But as I did that, a funny thing happened. For every shirt I was able to part with, another shirt, dress, and pair of pants made their way onto my shopping list.   This is why two walk-in closets will never be enough. Have I mentioned that we have a 2700 square foot house, for just the two of us? I knew I didn't need to order any clothes from ThredUP , but ho

Fail! Fail! FAIL!!!

EVERY YEAR, SEXY NERD?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A SMART GUY! It's Valentine's Day at 6:31pm and I'm reposting a previous Valentine's Day FAIL because, as of now, Sexy Nerd is setting himself up for another trip to the doghouse. Maybe he has something (anything?!?!?) romantic planned that he'll surprise me with in the next hour or so before bed?! I got out the bottle of champagne that's been chilling in the fridge since before New Year's Eve. He didn't want to open it then, and he doesn't want to open it tonight. He suggests we "save it" for my birthday in April. AAAARGH! Okay, here's that old post. Maybe he will read it tomorrow and remember what he has to do: Did Sexy Nerd sweep me off my feet for our 2nd Valentines Day as a married couple? Well, not exactly. Not at all, in fact. I had told him beforehand that he didn't need to buy me anything - just being nice to me would be a perfect day. Specifically, I wanted him to give m

Turkey Tacos with a Side of Creepy

Let me tell you about my Del Taco visit the other night. Spoiler alert - it was creepy! I stopped in after work to try the new Del Taco Turkey Tacos. 33% less fat? Yes, please! You know, as long as the "all the flavor" part is actually true. The Del Taco near my office serves breakfast 24/7, so I also picked up a couple of $1 breakfast burritos. I'm sure they were low-fat too. I'd been craving one of their ham, egg, and cheese breakfast biscuit sandwiches, but the price has gone up. I'm too frugal and will never be able to purchase my beloved breakfast sandwiches again. It's the principal of the matter.   Not a bad dinner for under $5, right?  Especially after I chopped each taco in half to create 2 meals. (Cue evil, cheapskate laugh - muah ha ha!) Sexy Nerd enjoyed the tacos...and he had absolutely no idea what I'd fed him was reduced fat. ( muah ha ha!)   This was an extra great deal because the cashier gave me a coupon for my next

My Year of Stupid (Take Two!)

(For part one, click here .) One of my resolutions for the new year was to walk on our new treadmill daily. It's a routine that was easy to keep up with when the NordicTrack was new, (to us) but as soon as the novelty wore off, it sat alone in Sexy Nerd's office all day, every day. Of course, I didn't use the treadmill at all in the days leading up to January 1st, lest I be burned out on my resolution before even beginning. Smart, right? Not at all lazy. Well, 2014 rolled around and I did an excellent job sticking to my resolution. On New Year's Day, I walked so long that the treadmill shut itself off to avoid overheating. On the 2nd, I walked nonstop for nearly 2 hours. On January 3rd, I tried to beat the previous day's record. And on the 4th? I could.not.walk. My left foot had developed a painful case of Plantar Fasciitis. It felt like my heel was going to crack in half! When I had to go out in public, (yay, work!) I hobbled - crazy stares be darned. Toda

My Year of Stupid (Take One!)

After getting my braces off the other day, I decided to treat myself to a little shopping at Cost Plus. It was chilly outside, but warm in the store, so I took off my coat. After meandering through a few aisles with it tucked under my arm, the coat made its way into my shopping hand basket. One of my favorite things about Cost Plus is the little section with coffee and tea samples at the back of each store. I poured myself a cup of scaldingly hot black coffee and continued browsing. There are so many unique items at Cost Plus. At the end of an aisle, I stopped to look at a selection of Sticky Fingers scone mixes. There were so many yummy-sounding flavors, like blueberry and cocoa chocolate chip, and they all looked easy to make. I was entirely distracted, balancing my coffee in one hand and my shopping basket in the other, imagining the impressed look Sexy Nerd was going to have when I served him up a batch of freshly made scones. I was going to knock his socks off! Well, I may ha

Braces Before and After Photos

My braces are FINALLY off!!! I actually finished up a few months ahead of schedule. When your orthodontist tells you to do something, like clench your teeth, it pays to do it! Here is my 'before' photo, courtesy of my awesome orthodontist: OMG, they were soo funky! Here is my glorious AFTER photo:   Note the midline, in all its symmetrical glory. Although my teeth look better than before, I'm not done yet. I still have to wear retainers for a while (24/7 - I was expecting them to be at night only!) There's a tiny bit of spacing on the side that is driving my orthodontist crazy (it's so tiny that I couldn't figure out what he was talking about until I saw the photo above), which he plans to fix. There's a little cosmetic work to do (nothing major, probably). And a round of at-home teeth whitening might help, especially as it was so difficult to brush and floss (especially floss) with my teeth encased in metal. Most exciting of all though?

Lowe's Cashier Quote of the Day

Sexy Nerd, who is quite the handyman extraordinaire, purchased a tube of Liquid Nails for one of his many projects. (He's currently building a folding boat, of all things!) The hefty woman scanning his purchase eyed him with suspicion, then said gruffly: "You'd bettah not be huffin' them nails."   High as a kite? (Hmmm...perhaps that's why he didn't notice that his shirt was covered in Pica hair.) Just imagine if he'd tried to buy spraypaint. More Quotes of the Day:  Sexy Nerd Quote of the Day - King of the Grill Sexy Nerd Quote of the Day - What's the Word? Sexy Nerd Quote of the Day - He's a Bully before his Morning Coffee Sexy Nerd Quote of the Day...Err, Night Sexy Nerd Quote of the Day - Big Pimpin' Lamb Quote of the Day - Another Year Wiser (I can admit it!) Boss Quote of the Day - Waiting to Exhale

Happy Anniversary

Have a great weekend, everyone. Sexy Nerd and I are off to celebrate the  TEN YEAR anniversary of our first date! The weekend is off to a good start. Sexy Nerd got up early to pick up surprise Duke City Donuts and McDonalds breakfast burritos for us. Now, if someone would just drop off a surprise Frappuccino for me at work today, that would really be perfect. (Hint, hint, Sexy Nerd.)

You Know You Have a Serious Case of Writer's Block When...

...you say "I know! I'll dig out my old Littlest Pet Shop toys and use them to act out my novel!" That's Kara in the center, surrounded by Kevyn (boo!), Brett (yay!), Scott, Lily, her parents, Herman, and Candice. Actually, Kara and Lily's dad isn't in the book. I just like that blue kitty.   It's all coming together.