Kitty Deschanel

This is my  "Can you believe these are really my teeth?!"  face. Braces Before & After My mom insists I've done so much to my teeth that they're going to fall out. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY, MOM! For the record, my teeth are all icky and brown in the middle photo above for two reasons: I'd recently gotten my braces off. Teeth with braces are impossible to keep clean. In preparation for gum surgery, I'd been using a prescription mouthwash that removes any trace of white from your teeth. I've had a terrible smile ever since 3rd grade, when I fell face-first onto the road and fractured my front teeth. My dentist at the time did the best he could to make them look nice, but dental technology in the early 90s just wasn't what it is today. Plus, let's face it, a 3rd grader is rarely a model patient.  Fearing braces, which I was convinced would be painful (not to mention that I was more than awkward and dorky enough without...

My braces are FINALLY off!!! I actually finished up a few months ahead of schedule. When your orthodontist tells you to do something, like clench your teeth, it pays to do it! Here is my 'before' photo, courtesy of my awesome orthodontist: OMG, they were soo funky! Here is my glorious AFTER photo:   Note the midline, in all its symmetrical glory. Although my teeth look better than before, I'm not done yet. I still have to wear retainers for a while (24/7 - I was expecting them to be at night only!) There's a tiny bit of spacing on the side that is driving my orthodontist crazy (it's so tiny that I couldn't figure out what he was talking about until I saw the photo above), which he plans to fix. There's a little cosmetic work to do (nothing major, probably). And a round of at-home teeth whitening might help, especially as it was so difficult to brush and floss (especially floss) with my teeth encased in metal. Most exciting of all though? ...

Alternate Title: You Can Eat Rubber, Right? Braces suck. Have I mentioned that before? The other day, I placed two new rubber bands from canine to canine, then proceeded with my day and forgot all about them. For lunch, I heated up some leftover ground lamb and made a burrito. Two bites in, I realized something unnerving. I had eaten a rubber band. According to Dr. Google , eating one orthodontic rubber band isn't any cause for alarm. I was cautioned, however, that a person should not polish off an entire bag of rubber bands. Umm, why would they feel the need to need to warn against this, right? Braces and Rubber Bands Fast forward to this evening. I toasted up a plate of 3 Minute Toaster Oven Smores for me and Sexy Nerd to enjoy while chatting about our day. Despite my orthodontist's insistence that braces and rubber bands go hand in hand, plus request that I wear my rubber bands 24/7, I placed my rubber bands on the edge of the plate.  It was nice to relax with...

My second braces adjustment went a little something like this: Orthodontist: Those little wires on the sides don't want to stay in, but that's okay. We can just wire everything together. It will be much more permanent. I wasn't sure what he meant, but was aware while lying in the chair that this braces adjustment was taking much longer than the last and involved a great deal more wires and pulling on my teeth. The assistant jammed a sharp wire into my cheek and joked that she was going to give me a piercing. Ahh, so this was what he had meant: The 'After' is below (like you couldn't tell!) Afterward, Sexy Nerd took one look at me and asked what the point of clear brackets was. Ummm, yeah. My thoughts exactly. And those sharp little twisties all over? I hate those sharp little twisties!

My orthodontist is all about sending mixed messages. At my first appointment, he said I've been brushing too hard. He showed me how to brush gently from now on. At my first braces adjustment , he lectured me about my poor oral hygiene. I had been brushing too gently! He said not to be afraid of damaging my braces and that they are very strong. He then proceeded to grip my (very sore!) lower front teeth and shake my head from side to side, demonstrating just how mighty the braces are. He said that a toothbrush should last me a month, tops, and that by the end of the life of my toothbrush, the bristles should be smashed down and splayed out. So, I went home and brushed more aggressively, per the insistence of my orthodontist. #@*&!!!!!!! And then spat out a piece of my braces. Damn you braces. Damn you.

Ow. My first braces adjustment was bound to be bad, especially when you factor in that my teeth were still sore from my initial appointment. To really make things fun though, my orthodontist had a new rule for me. I need to squeeze my teeth together as tightly as possible for as much of the day as I can. He has assured me that my teeth will not simply explode from the pressure, but I'm unconvinced. He's still beating that dead horse that is jaw surgery. Dr. Google seems to side with my orthodontist on this, as my supposedly super-rare open bite can usually only be corrected surgically. But I didn't have an open bite before I got braces! Oh, and it would really be beneficial if I stopped drinking coffee and green tea. I came home from my appointment with a C on my oral hygiene report. I managed to make the Dean's List at UNM, but apparently cannot handle proper brushing. The assistant who rewired my braces said that my cheek was too taught and that I needed to lo...

My teeth are loose - a very unnerving quality as an adult. You always wanted an up close and personal view of my funky teeth, right? Despite having the nicest orthodontist in Albuquerque, there's no denying that braces suck ! Oh, my poor teeth are killing me. Teenage Me , who swore she would never get braces, is very upset with Grown Up Me! She was right all along. Seriously, everyone told me that my teeth would hurt for the first few days but then be fine. It has been 3 loooong weeks and my teeth are just as sore as when my braces were put on. Sexy Nerd says I'm a wimp. My boss, the pediatric dentist, says I really shouldn't expect to or try to eat anything solid, like a sandwich (!) until the braces come off and that a liquid diet would be best. I would probably lose a ton of weight over the next year...but chocolate cake, ice cream, and pudding are all so wonderfully soft!

Remember when I told you I was getting braces ? Nothing is ever simple, is it? So, it all started with a simple consultation for some cosmetic dentistry. My front teeth have always been a bit wacky (thank you to a clumsy 3rd grade face plant on the road) and I finally decided to have them fixed. But not so fast! Sure, the cosmetic dentist could fix just my front teeth, but was I aware that my molars were certainly going to fracture as I got older due to the horrible way my teeth fit together? Umm..no. So before redoing the build-ups on my front teeth, I needed braces. But wait! The orthodontist might be able to fix my bite with braces, but what may work best would be braces and (wait for it)...(suspenseful, right?)...jaw surgery!  "What would that entail?" I asked, completely horrified. "Nothing with the lower jaw, so not to worry. Just the upper," he reassured me. "They just break your upper jaw in two places. It will move everything. Your nose will move ...

Let's rewind to high school, when my stubborn teenage self insisted (demanded!) at the orthodontist's office on the very last appointment before getting braces that there was no way I was ever, EVER going to put those sharp, ugly things in my mouth. My mom told me that I'd regret it and would have to pay the thousands of dollars for braces myself in another 10 years or so. I knew she was wrong. I just knew it. Now, I'm at an age where my smile just doesn't send the professional image I would like. Between you (the entire internet world!) and me, I don't have the most attractive front teeth. I had my teeth fixed in the 3rd grade after a little accident, (Face, meet Road) and now, 20-something years later, the composite build ups are chipped and showing their age, with a noticeable horizontal line separating real tooth from fake. Oh, and as if this weren't all bad enough, the 2 teeth are different sizes with a gap between them! When I told my boss, a ...

This feels like a good weekend for relaxing in bed, eating soft foods, and catching up on The Simpsons. Remember a few months ago when I was opposed to having crown lengthening surgery? I had the *awesome* dental procedure performed yesterday. They removed the gum and the bone from around 6 teeth - more bone than they were expecting! You can see some of the stitches. Yay! Really though, I'm just being dramatic. It went totally fine and I haven't even needed a single one of my prescriptions painkillers. The worst part was being able to hear the procedure. There's something...unnerving about listening to someone scraping your bone away. Still, I think the results are going to look amazing. I love my new, adult-size teeth! And, yes, they're all icky and brownish right now (even more so since the photo above was taken.) The post-surgery prescription mouthwash I have to take is brutal. It HATES white teeth!

* If you missed the previous post, please scroll down and read it 1st, so that you will fully understand what a crazy, wacky, insane, nutty, irrational, kooky, lying, psychotic bee-atch I am writing about!   The dentist ended up calling and speaking to mom. She answered every little question mom could think of. If this post were about rational people, this would be the end of my little story. After all, you wouldn't take your child back to a dentist you don't trust, right? I wouldn't even bring my dogs to a veterinarian if I wasn't 100% comfortable with them. But, as noted above, this particular post is about a *!#%^, so of course the fun kept going. Mom brought the child back for the next appointment. Our office had had enough nonsense, so we made it a point to be  extra  clear about everything. An impression would be taken for an appliance, which we would receive back from the lab in about 2 weeks, and the copay would be $79. It seemed to sink in. The assis...

I don't usually post about our patients.  What if someone who takes their child to our office reads this , I always think. In this case though, I couldn't care less. Let the *!#%^ read this. (I guess you know where this post is heading, LOL!)  A few weeks ago we saw a new patient who needed a lot of treatment, like crowns and extractions. I told mom that I'd be happy to file a pre-authorization for her before we got started. That way, her insurance company would let her know how much she would need to pay out-of-pocket for the procedures. So, I filed it and made the next appointment for a few weeks out.  Following up several days before the appointment, I realized that we still hadn't heard back from her insurance company. On mom's behalf, I called her insurance and spent FOREVER (if you've ever tried to call an insurance company, you'll know that this really isn't much of an exaggeration) getting through their automated system ...

I can't sleep! True, it is only 9:36 pm, but I want to go to sleep now! I called my dentist today to set up an appointment for a filling and they said - lucky me - they can get me in first thing in the morning. Lol, at work I tell paranoid parents every day that getting a filling is absolutely no big deal, but I don't want one! I was kinda hoping they would get me in sometime next year. Better to get it taken care of, I guess. The cavity is on a wisdom tooth, which I have decided to keep instead of having pulled. If I end up having a filling AND later having it extracted, I'm going to be a bit annoyed. I hope my dentist doesn't do a half-assed job on the filling. He thinks I should just have my wisdom teeth extracted. I started reading a new book called Something Borrowed, which is about a girl who sleeps with her pregnant best friend's fiance. It had good reviews, but so far it is just boring, (not boring enough to put me to sleep though! Rats!) At least the Sho...