Kitty Deschanel | Food, Wine, and Travel Adventures Across the USA

Sexy Nerd and I have been together for more than 11 years. Keep this in mind while reading the following conversation we had yesterday: Sexy Nerd: Hey! You know what I noticed the other night? You have sleep apnea. Me: Wha?! Sexy Nerd: You just stopped breathing the other night. You weren't breathing for, like, a minute. Then, you were gasping for breath. Then, you woke up. That must have been the cause of your insomnia problem all along. Sleep apnea! Me: So, you think I've always stopped breathing for dangerous amounts of time, every night that you've known me? Sexy Nerd: Yeah! Me: And...you never noticed...in more than eleven years? Sexy Nerd: ... Me: And how long were you going to wait to see if I started breathing again? A minute seems like kind of a long time, don't you think? Sexy Nerd: ...I...didn't want to risk waking you ...because I love you... So, apparently this is what my (most likely shortened) future holds: CPAP machine - no ...

Oh no, Ocho! One of your legs wasn't quite level, so Sexy Nerd "fixed" it. If you've ever wondered what it's like to be married to an engineer , this about sums it up. Sure, they can build you cool things, but life isn't all pocket protectors and sexy glasses. In his defense, he had no reason to suspect your leg would snap off entirely. I mean, yeah I told him exactly that would happen if he messed with it and to just leave it alone, but other than that, how was he to know? $200 Octopus Pedestal Stand from Z Gallerie (Well, not $200 anymore, obviously) Your leg! Your beautiful leg!

Sexy Nerd has a new phone that takes excellent photos, so we've been using it exclusively instead of lugging a camera around. We have photos from the Colorado Springs Parade of Homes, our recent trip to Hawaii, and many other blog-worthy events. In fact, we attended the opening weekend of the home parade, making it essential to post on my blog ASAP so it could serve as a resource for people thinking of going. Sexy Nerd agreed. And yet... Sexy Nerd said he would send me the photos more than a month ago. The Colorado Springs Parade of Homes is long over. Sexy Nerd is still saying he's going to send me the photos. ..... Where are the photos, Sexy Nerd?!? An old photo (obviously) of Sexy Nerd. Spend less time giving pep talks to half-dead trees and more time sending me photos!

Shortage, smortage. Sexy Nerd and I will be eating well during the looming eggpocalypse, thanks to our local Sprouts and their overzealous clearance stockers. I spotted these from across the store, knocked everyone out of my way, and, of course, celebrated with a victorious happy dance. Eggland's Best? These are higher quality eggs than I was buying before the egg shortage! And the sell-by date isn't even for another week. Can you believe it?

Staycations just aren't cutting it right now and I'm itchin' to get away to some far-off, tropical island. Our back patio, complete with artificial rain courtesy of Sexy Nerd's ingenuity. Also, could the builder have placed our neighbor's windows any more obnoxiously close? If you would like to have your writing featured on my blog, including a link to your site, please send me an email . It can be a new post or old, whatever makes you happy, as long as it fits in with my site. Recipes, funny stories, decorating advice, and beauty tips are all great options. And, here's the best part: Be sure to include an AdSense code linked to your account in the guest post. That's right. You'll be earning affiliate income from my website. Can you believe it? Ahh, that relaxing vacation feels closer than ever now.

Let's be honest. The best blog posts are the ones that border on TMI, wouldn't you agree? If you know me in real life, (I'm looking at you, family members) please discontinue reading this immediately. (Seriously. If you have or have ever had the same last name as me, now is the time to scram!) Today started out well. I woke up a little before my alarm went off and got an early start on my morning. I ate a healthy breakfast of oatmeal, yogurt, and fruit. I found just the right outfit to wear to work. I even had time to do some online (window) shopping before leaving the house. It was going to be a great day! Everything at my office seemed fine. I clocked in and started reviewing insurance claims. It didn't take long, however, to realize that something was not quite right. There was a funky smell. And, yes, it was coming from me! I'd had all that extra time before leaving the house. I had showered, washed my hair, brushed my teeth, done my make-up, and al...