Anonymous Flower Delivery

Sexy Nerd and I came home from a day of running errands on Saturday to discover an odd message on my phone. It was a girl from a flower shop calling to confirm my address for a delivery.

I called and said there must be a mistake, as I wasn't expecting any flowers, to which she pointed out that people don't usually expect flowers. Oh, of course.

As nice as it would be to have someone send me flowers, it seemed unlikely. Sure enough, she was unable to find any orders for me when I gave my name.

She did have a Danielle though, and asked if there might be a different last name. I told her my maiden name. There really were flowers waiting for me!

She confirmed the delivery address - the rental house Sexy Nerd and I lived in 3 years ago. I updated my address and ended the call, anxiously waiting to see who would send me flowers.

Who sent me flowers from FTD?

My mysterious stalker has beautiful taste!

Strange? I had no idea how strange! Here is the message that came with the flowers:

Well, that's not creepy at all.

So who would send me, a married woman who has been with my Sexy Nerd for over 6 years, a message like that? It was an anonymous flower delivery! I called the florist back right away to get the sender's name.

They didn't know either! I asked if it was just a generic message that the sender had selected from a list and they said no, the sender had written it specifically.

They said the order was placed online through FTD and to contact them. I did and they won't reveal the identity of the sender without his (or her!) permission. They called the number given for the order and no one answered. They emailed them and are currently waiting for a response.

All I could do was wait, right? Pfft! I called back again and spoke to someone else, feeding them a story about how I just had a baby and got lots and lots of flowers delivered and put all the little cards aside so I could write my thank you notes, but in all the chaos I misplaced the notes and could I please get the sender's name? In the name of polite society, please just give me their #%*&ing name!

Nope. They called the sender again. No answer.

Sexy Nerd, who absolutely did not send these and who is not happy about any of this, is convinced that the flowers were sent to me by mistake. He was even less happy when the second FTD representative told me it was a "New Dream Bouquet with Bear". There was supposed to be a bear too?

Not that any of this matters, of course. Prince William could have sent these to me and I still wouldn't think for a second of leaving my Sexy Nerd. But still...I have it narrowed down to 3 possibilities...maybe 4 if I really stretch my options...I really want to know who sent them! The suspense is killing me!

Does anyone out there know how to get those stubborn punks at FTD to reveal the name of the sender?

Update: I never did solve this anonymous flower delivery mystery, but I did make sure FTD refunded my mysterious stalker for the bear they forgot to deliver.

Cake Mix Pancakes

This reader-favorite recipe is *almost* as popular as my Cake Mix Cookie Bars recipe . When making Cake Mix pancakes , the scrumptious possibilities are endless. Red Velvet cake mix pancakes. Chocolate cake mix pancakes. Butter Pecan cake mix pancakes. Funfetti cake mix pancakes. (Yes, Funfetti cake mix pancakes!) With this 2-ingredient recipe, you can turn your favorite cake mix into your favorite pancakes. Pancake making at its finest. Cake Mix Pancakes Personally, I think my funny napkin is the icing on the (pan)cake. It's Sunday morning and you're planning to do all the things today - scrub those grody baseboards, polish your quartz countertop that was supposed to be low maintenance but actually isn't at all, sort through the disaster that is the freezer. While on your superhuman kick, you think I'm going to make my family pancakes for breakfast. Not just any pancakes - the best pancakes ever. I may even serve them as breakfast in bed! You pu

Chemical Peel Before & After

This article has been updated! My new chemical peel post, which includes pricing, Jessner peel before and after photos, product recommendations, and a helpful timeline for scheduling your treatments, is at the bottom. My original Jessner peel post (one of the most popular on my site of all time) is at the beginning. Original Chemical Peel Article Considering a chemical peel? I recently underwent my first Jessner peel and thought I'd share my results, post a Jessner peel review, and answer some frequently asked chemical peel questions. (I'm guessing that "Does a chemical peel hurt?" is a biggie!) I'd been planning to order an over-the-counter peel when we were in Iceland , but my computer led me a different direction. I decided to do this on a whim after Groupon greeted me one morning with a great $40 chemical peel deal. Now, I can read your mind. You just gasped in horror and thought You trusted your face to a discount chemical peel?! You're wondering w

How to Move a Mattress

My site is popular for reviewing memory foam mattresses. With today's bed-in-a-box options lasting much longer than the traditional 7 years of a spring mattress, there's a good chance you'll eventually need to move one. But how? This is how to move a mattress without damaging it - even by yourself! When we were faced with the challenge of moving our beloved Amerisleep AS3 to our new home, it seemed like my readers would enjoy the details. This handy tip should work for any memory foam bed, including Casper, Leesa, and Nectar. I'm happy to report there is an extremely simple way to do it. Apartment and dorm dwellers rejoice! How to Move a Mattress At first, I wasn't sure how to move our king-size mattress down a flight of stairs. It's a problem we've dreaded solving ever since we made the decision to build a new house. The answer? It was right in the back of our truck. Ratchet straps . This solution could also serve as a 'How To' for returning

3 Minute Toaster/Convection Oven Smores

These are perfect when you're craving a quick, sugary treat. They work equally well in a toaster oven and a convection oven. Best of all, compared to eating an entire bag of Oreos (something I have never done), they're quite healthy. What's that, you say? You already know how to make s'mores in the toaster oven? Well then, sit back and enjoy the ooey-gooey marshmallowy photos. (And if you're someone who works with me, please keep the "I've seen her polish off an entire bag of Oreo cookies" nonsense to yourself.) Step 1: Put desired amount of graham crackers on a toaster oven/convection oven-safe pan. Looks like it's time to clean this pan, Sexy Nerd Optional 1st step, which is Sexy Nerd's favorite: Spread peanut butter on each graham cracker (I'm not much of a peanut butter fan - WHAT?!? - so I skip this step.) Cover with yummy marshmallows. Top with chocolate chips. Place in the toaster o

Window Seat Idea - Dream Home Inspiration of the Day

See it? Waaay at the back of the photo? I like how the window seat extends past the window all the way to the wall. How about you? If that's not your style, how about one of these lovely window seats? I'll seat you, my pretty, and your little dog too. How perfect would this be in a home office? I'd swap out that wimpy rug with a larger one.

Funny Dog Memes

How can anyone not like dogs? Here are FUNNY DOG MEMES about everyone's best friend. Thank you to everyone for the positive response to my first Funny Memes blog post. It was wildly popular! As a result, here are some more things to make you laugh, including an original meme only available here. I just renewed my domain name (for NINE years) and it was painfully expensive, especially considering this poor, unsuccessful site never makes any money. Seriously, this site is so in the red that I can't even claim the expense on my taxes. If you can share these memes and drive some traffic here, I'll love you forever! I need to get my stats up prior to May, 2030. Like Christmas, it will be here before you know it. Funny Dog Memes Want to see some funny doggos? Check out Olive and Bernadette in their pajamas !

Field and Vine, Friends and Wine: Our Dinner in the Field

Dreaming of a farm-to-table experience on an actual farm? Sexy Nerd and I have discovered Field & Vine, an Oregon company that hosts special dinners and events. Don't get too attached to Bessie over there... Clarification: Bessie is a cow over in the field, not me. You cannot see the cow in the photo. Again, I am not Bessie. A Night of Culinary Connection and Wine-Fueled Friendships Last July, on a quest to conquer Oregon's wonders and combat adulting fatigue, we stumbled upon the "Dinner in the Field" event at Marion Acres hosted by Field & Vine. This wasn't your average dinner party; it was a celebration of local bounty, exceptional wines, and the joy of finding kindred spirits over shared plates. Surrounded by friendly faces and glasses filled with Suzor wines, we indulged in a multi-course masterpiece showcasing the heart and soul of Marion Acres. It wasn't just about the food; it was about the entire experience. Marion Acres: From Humble Beginning

Reuzel: Grooming Tonic Industry Review

I'm looking out for you, my bloggy friends. At my last haircut, the hairdresser shared his favorite hair product of all time, REUZEL (which I'd never heard of), with me and I had enough sense to get the details to share with you. He didn't even have a bottle of it to sell me. It was a genuine, honest review. Also, are they still called hairdressers? Is this the equivalent of calling your flight attendant a stewardess? Stylist? Barber? Reuzel Grooming Tonic Review You know those men who have the softest, most perfect hair and it seems so unfair because most men don't even care about their hair? (Or so they say.) I think this is their secret. While you're here, be sure to read my funny haircut story . Geez, I'm awkward. The fact that I was brave enough to ask to take this photo at the salon is proof I love my blog readers. Never heard of it? That's probably because Reuzel Grooming Tonic is marketed toward men. From reading their endless 5-star reviews, men

Sending NAKED Emails

Although SN and I started out in a long-distance relationship, with me in New Mexico and him in Michigan, drinking that famous Flint water, we haven't spent much time apart since before our wedding 6 years ago, when I took a family reunion trip to the Seychelles and Paris without him. (He "had to work", but I think the idea of 3 weeks nonstop with my mom terrified him. To be fair, it was pretty scary!) Now, he has been gone on a business trip for nearly 2 weeks and I'm kinda starting to miss him. He says he misses me too. So, I decided to have some fun and send him the following email: Subject: Here are some NAKED photos for you Message: Be sure to delete these after you look at them. The photos, one titled "hubba hubba" and the other "you know you love it": "I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it." "I'm sexy and I know it." Yep, that is a 100% collar-free, naked Pica . Sexy Nerd&#

Oatmeal with Quinoa

*Do not add chia seeds - see note at the end of this recipe. In response to my popular Instant Pot Explosion blog post, I've had a few blog readers ask for my oatmeal with quinoa recipe, which is made in the Instant Pot. This seems a bit odd...you guys aren't trying to recreate that gooey mess in your own kitchens, right? My recipe does make delicious, foolproof Instant Pot oatmeal. It's only for patient people though. Whatever you do, do not manually release the pressure valve at the end of the cooking cycle! This recipe is also great in a Crock Pot, though that method takes longer. I like to set the temperature to Low before bed. What a hearty, indulgent breakfast to wake up to! I've been cooking up batches of my Oatmeal with Quinoa for years, long before I'd heard of the Instant Pot, and have even gifted the dry ingredients to health-conscious friends and family, who've suggested I sell this. Shark Tank, here I come! Oatmeal with Quinoa Featured

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