Oh, who am I kidding? I was there to pick up my reserved copy of The Happiest Baby on the Block. And I already own The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy (in my defense, it was only a dollar!)
Which leads me to the latest in a long list of Sexy Nerd silliness...
Dr. Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, has a 5 step technique to calm colicky infants: Swaddle, Side/Stomach, Shush, Swing, Suck. Excited to learn this latest tidbit of baby advice (lest I be unprepared for our own baby in 3 years), I found Sexy Nerd and told him all about it. Yes, I made him pause Nascar. The 5 step technique can't wait! He feigned interest, saying how fascinating Dr. Harper's (!) theory is, then resumed his race. I wasn't convinced.
Pausing the TV again, Sexy Nerd proceeded to recite back the 5 steps. "Swaddle!" he said proudly, impressed with himself for remembering when he really hadn't even been paying attention. With a bit less enthusiasm, he listed off Shush and Suck. The last 2 steps just would not come to mind. "I know it," he insisted, though he clearly did not know it. "Oh! You put the baby on its Stomach," he remembered. With just 1 more rule to go, completely proving me wrong, I could see that Sexy Nerd was really racking his mind for the answer. His face lit up.
"Swim!" he said.
"Swim?" I asked, a bit concerned. "Are you sure?"
Sexy Nerd unpaused his race, quite pleased with his awesome parenting intuition. "You're not fooling anyone. I got all 5 right! Admit it."
"So," I interrupted "to comfort our baby, you are going to swaddle its arms to its sides, stick a pacifier in its mouth, and place it face down in water??"
"What was I thinking?!"
Poor baby Nuke.
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