So, it all started with a simple consultation for some cosmetic dentistry. My front teeth have always been a bit wacky (thank you to a clumsy 3rd grade face plant on the road) and I finally decided to have them fixed. But not so fast!
Sure, the cosmetic dentist could fix just my front teeth, but was I aware that my molars were certainly going to fracture as I got older due to the horrible way my teeth fit together? Umm..no. So before redoing the build-ups on my front teeth, I needed braces. But wait!
The orthodontist might be able to fix my bite with braces, but what may work best would be braces and (wait for it)...(suspenseful, right?)...jaw surgery!
"What would that entail?" I asked, completely horrified.
"Nothing with the lower jaw, so not to worry. Just the upper," he reassured me. "They just break your upper jaw in two places. It will move everything. Your nose will move up a little bit too."
"My nose will move up on my face?!" I asked, probably sounding less like the perfect patient I was trying to be.
"Just a little bit," he said. "You'll probably barely notice it."
Holy freaking heck I am going to die!