Spoiler alert - the tea does nothing. Tuesday, May 17th I wish I could talk to someone about depression but I don't know where to start and I worry it will be too expensive and I don't want to risk being dropped from my medical insurance. I was so happy this morning and now I just feel empty and there's no reason for it and it happens all the time. Even Derek doesn't understand at all and he pretty much just ignores it. One day I'm going to lose though and there's nothing I can do to stop it and I don't want to do that to him or to my parents but the thoughts just come so naturally, like it's the most casual thing in the world that I would go sit in the car in the garage and never wake up again, like "Oh, I'll just go do that now" and I always stop myself before I even get up from my chair, but what are the odds that my crazy broken brain will or can prevent it forever? I felt great this morning. I had such a productive day. Everythi