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We're Reluctantly Engaged

You know those cute, romantic engagement stories? This is not one of those.

Our engagement caught me off guard. We'd hardly been dating a year and, having just gotten out of the Worst Relationship Ever, which had been a twisted, rapey mess, I was barely keen on dating Sexy Nerd. Valentine's Day weekend, he checked us into a local hotel for a "romantic surprise". Ummm...yeah.

We started by leaving the hotel to have dinner. When we returned, Sexy Nerd seemed disappointed. Then, there was a knock on the door.

Room service had arrived with Champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries, and to sprinkle rose petals on our bed. Yes, rose petals on our bed! Supposedly, the plan was for them to do this while we were out to dinner, but they were running behind and instead set this up right in front of us. Awkward, you think? Oh yes.

In hindsight, the hotel should probably not have gone along with this. The Champagne was nice, but I was only 20 years old.

I was feeling pretty mortified by the rose-petals-in-front-of-strangers incident. Almost as soon as the two men from room service had closed the door, Sexy Nerd got down on one knee and pulled out an engagement ring. 

This is the part where, on TV and in movies, the lucky girl bursts into tears and throws her arms around her new fiance, blubbering on about how happy she is. I am not a lovey dovey, hearts-circling-the-air-around-her-head, wedding-planned-since-age-2 kind of girl. Heck, I barely had our wedding planned the day before our wedding.

Not all girls want to get married. I don't even like weddings. I was too young to get married. I was too young to even drink the champagne!

I had been on the fence about dating anyone at all, and now Sexy Nerd was proposing? To be fair, he had mentioned it, and I had said that, sure, we should get married. But lots of guys told me that and I always told them the exact same thing. It's just one of those jokey things that get thrown around. I hadn't thought he was serious. Had the the other guys been serious too?

So, what did I do? Well, we are happily married, with photos to prove it (with our wedding date three years after this story), so you must already know that I agreed. But not without having a panic attack. 

Literally. As Sexy Nerd tells the story, it's every guy's worst proposal nightmare. I started shaking, then laughing, but not the kind of laugh where something is funny. More a hysterical, bide-my-time-while-I think-of-a-way-out-of-this-mess laugh, which was appropriate, as that was exactly what I was doing. 

I needed time to properly weigh the pros and cons of the situation, all while being stared at with an increasing look of concern and dread. Sexy Nerd insists that I was in my own giggly world for five minutes.

I think my official answer to him was "I guess".

What happens when you ask a girl to marry you and she doesn't want to? It's a funny story.
See the engagement photos? We were just kids!

If you're reading this, Sexy Nerd (you do read my blog, don't you?), just know that I love you very much.

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