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We broke up our flight to Australia with a few nights in Hawaii, which eased us into our new time zone so gently that neither of us suffered any jet lag. This was much to the surprise of my family members in Australia, who had expected us to be zombies. Traveling home from Australia, however, we went straight from Sydney to Albuquerque. You know, with several hours to kill stuck inside the Nadi, Fiji airport and LAX.

34+ hours without sleep.

Home at midnight. Back to work immediately.

Add in the fun bonus of a cold I seem to have caught while flying and you have one grouchy, headachey, TIRED space cadet.

Plus, don't forget my idiopathic insomnia. That's right. In addition to not being able to sleep on any of our flights, including the 10 hour overnighter, I have barely been able to sleep since we returned home.

Over a week ago!

Which brings me (finally) to the point of this post. The other night I didn't nod off until almost 4am. I had to get up at 7am for work, so after tossing and turning for hours, I was fortunate to get to sleep at all. Then, shortly before 5am, I awoke to a strange sound.

Sexy Nerd was away on a business trip. He couldn't have made the noise. Was it our house alarm? Was someone breaking in while I was home alone? I shot up in bed.

I waited, listening, but everything was quiet. It wasn't the security alarm. Had I just dreamed that there was a sound? I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep.

BEEP!

Eyes open again. Was the sound coming from upstairs with me?

BEEP!

The smoke detector! Yes, that always beeps when the battery is running low. I figured I'd hop out of bed, disconnect the stupid thing, and try to get back to sleep. I staggered over to our bedroom smoke detector and looked at the ceiling. 

BEEP!

The smoke detector was fine. The sound was coming from outside the room. Exhausted and cursing, I threw open the door and glared into the dark loft. Nothing out there should be beeping.

BEEP!

I looked up at the carbon monoxide detector on the ceiling, which had a red flashing light. The source of the beeps! I buried my fists into my eyes and stomped my feet in an exasperated tantrum, then turned on the light and dragged a chair over from the guest bedroom. Standing on it, I could read whatever was written next to the flashing light and make the horrible beeping cease. Next, I could go back to bed. Not that much time had passed, really. There was still some hope that I would be able to fall back to sleep and get my remaining 2 hours before work.

Next to the flashing red light: If flashing, seek fresh air immediately.

To which I, of course, yelled to the empty house: ARE YOU F@C&ING KIDDING ME?!
 
There was no carbon monoxide. That would be ridiculous. Still, just to be on the safe side, I opened the nearest window and took a deep breath, then called Sexy Nerd's cell phone. If I can't sleep, no one is going to sleep! He assured me that the beeping was just a low battery warning and that I should go back to bed. I did.

Then, I got back up and set to work opening every window in our house, just in case. Despite it raining outside.

Back to bed, followed by one more trip to close most of the windows, fearing water damage and scary people who break into homes through open windows. Only when you're home alone, of course.

Later that morning, I went to work on less than 1 hour of sleep. You had the 3 entire weeks while we were away to act up, carbon monoxide detector! You couldn't have at least had your spazz-out moment prior to 4am?!

Ugh.

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