Valentine's Day FAIL

I'm afraid that I'm the recipient of this year's FAIL award. Remember how Sexy Nerd scored so many points with his Valentine's Day surprise? I hadn't realized there was more to come.

Look what was waiting for me when I opened my car door!

Maybe GM could try this tactic to sell more Chevy Volts.

Awww! I love that crazy redneck of mine, Nascar addiction and all.

(And Moonshiners.)

(And Swamp Loggers.)

(And Duck Dynasty, which I'll admit isn't terrible.)

I wanted to do something equally nice for Sexy Nerd, but I'd waited too long to plan anything. I pondered what he might like while driving across town to my orthodontist appointment, which was to recement a broken bracket.

By the way, it is easy peasy to get a last-minute orthodontist appointment on Valentine's Day. It's extra sucky though because you sit there getting your teeth tortured, thinking "so this is how I'm spending Valentine's Day".

Also, my orthodontist didn't buy my claim that the bracket popped off while I was eating a bell pepper. But it really did! Honest!

But, I'm getting off topic.

I decided to surprise Sexy Nerd with a Little Caesars Hot and Ready pizza for dinner. He loves pizza! Then, we could spend the whole evening together. We could watch a movie, play Scrabble, et cetera (this is a family-friendly blog, but you get the idea). It would be very romantic.

My plan started out like I'd hoped. Sexy Nerd was thrilled that I'd come home with a pepperoni pizza. He quickly wolfed down the 5 largest slices. Then?

Well, then he had pizza burps. He meandered around the house for a few minutes, complaining that he was soooo full. Next, he got in bed.

He promptly fell asleep.

Valentine's Day just isn't the same when you've been together 9 years, is it? I decided that I may as well call it an early night and went to brush my teeth.

Which popped the %#*& bracket off my braces again.

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