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Lizard's Visit to the Pediatric Dentist

Recent posts from my office Facebook:

4/14 at 1:27pm
You might expect to hear rambunctious children at a pediatric dental office, but you've never heard anything like the shrieks that just came from our front office staff. Somehow, a GIANT LIZARD HAS GOTTEN INTO OUR OFFICE and he is scampering around underneath Marie's desk! In more than 30 years of practicing dentistry, this is a first. Only in New Mexico, right?

4/14 at 1:39pm
We're not sure where he is at the moment, but are being extremely careful when rolling our front office chairs. In fact, new rule - no rolling the office chairs until the lizard is safe and sound!

4/14 at 1:49pm
*This just in*
Danielle has named the lizard Bob.
(The lizard shown is not Bob, as Bob is still hiding underneath Marie's desk, much to her dismay.)

Also, the patients this afternoon are having a great time trying to find Bob, and an even better time exclaiming "There's a lizard!" and watching Marie jump a mile high.

4/14 at 2:29pm
I've been asked why the lizard's name is Bob. That's easy. His real name is Robert, but we're a laid back, casual dental office.

4/15 at 1:39pm
This is Bob! Isn't he dapper?

I've got you now, Bob, you sly fellow.

(Also, I thought Bob could use some protein after his exciting adventure to the dentist and may have tried to feed him a piece of hard boiled egg. He's not being a very good sport though and is refusing to eat it.)

4/15 at 1:45pm
Bob doesn't want to be fed. Bob wants to hunt.

4/15 at 1:47pm
THE DOOR IS WIDE OPEN FOR YOU, BOB! IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY! WHY WON'T YOU RUN OUTSIDE, YOU SCALY PUNK??

4/15 at 1:53pm
While Danielle likes the idea of allowing Bob to meander outside at his own pace, patients will be arriving at any minute and children do not make good companions for a frightened lizard. To encourage him to pick up the pace, she has been blowing on him. With each breath, he takes one step toward the door, then looks at her like Do you mind??. Only 576 breaths to go!

4/15 at 1:57pm
Marie can't take any more of this nonsense. She has chased Bob out the door with a broom. Have a nice life, Bob!


On a side note, my grandma sent me a message asking "Why didn't you just pick him up, you wuss?". Befriending your elderly grandmother on Facebook seems like a sweet idea at first, but it's only a matter of time until she calls you out as a wuss in front of everyone.

I can't wait to see if Bob is waiting inside our office when I return on Monday.
Even if he's not, I may text a photo of him to Marie, just to mess with her. Cue my evil laugh.

Muah ha ha. *Rubs hands together, Mr. Burns-style*

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