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Showing posts from May, 2017
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Stinky Nerd Quote of the Day

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Remember that greenhouse Sexy Nerd and I built together? Yeah, I'm taking credit for it. Supervising is hard work! I also provided snacks, Subway sandwiches, and icy sodas, which anyone doing hard manual labor will tell you is a much-appreciated job. I tried to provide icy beer too, but Sexy Nerd said drinking and heavy lifting never go together. He's so moral, that crazy guy of mine.

Luckily for the icy beer, I was not doing any heavy lifting.

Sexy Nerd worked all day long, tirelessly moving each 80 pound bag of concrete from the bottom of our lot up the steep, uneven ground until all 6,800 pounds were accounted for. When the 85th bag finally reached the top, I ran up to him in celebration. He was sunburned and sweaty; his hair ashen with cement dust. He'd done it! I threw my arms around him.

Phew!

Sexy Nerd reeked. I knew he'd worked hard, but this was too much. Recoiling, I vowed we would not ride home in the same car.

Which leads me to the Sexy Stinky Nerd Quote of…

There's Nothing Cute About Pure Evil

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There's a screech owl who has been flying all around my neighborhood. Our weekly newsletter pointed out this "cute visitor" at the beginning of December. Here he is, perched on a neighbor's front door.
It's called a SCREECH owl, not a fluffy owl or a cutesy owl or a buddy owl. Think of a kitten. Now, think of a SCREECH kitten. Scary, right? Perched nonchalantly, he's plotting his next evil deed in that evil feathered head of his. It's what they do.
This is exactly why all houses need multiple ways in and out. You say you love owls, but you wouldn't dare open this door with him sitting on it. Insist all you want that it's just so you don't disturb him. We both know it's because owls are scary little f*ckers.
The next weekend, the screech owl was photographed at a neighbor's wood pile. Supposedly, it's the same "cute visitor" as before, but this one looks bigger to me. And scarier. And, though I wouldn't have thought it…

Construction Update: 6 Week Deadline

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Our house needs to be finished by July 1st...and we don't even have our flooring, stucco, roof, or cabinets installed! In fact, I don't think anyone from Panorama Homes has even been to our house this entire week. The deadline is quickly approaching and our house is just sitting there, empty and forgotten. I email the builder and the foreman for an update and am ignored. I ask our builder in person what the plan is for next week and am told, "I don't know".

We're screwed, aren't we?

"Screwed and tattooed," my boss says. It's not the sort of language one expects to hear from a little old lady, and especially not from a children's dentist, so it sticks with me. Screwed and tattooed, I think, staring at the unfinished, well, everything. Screwed and tattooed.

On the plus side, the work that has been completed looks great. The interior walls have all been painted (Sherwin Williams Polite White), the tongue and groove ceiling is up, and Strahl…

The Challenges of Life with a Beard

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Long before Duck Dynasty turned the crazy mountain man-look mainstream, there was Biscuit.

She will tell you that having a beard is not all it's cracked up to be. Sure, the ladies love it. But your confidence flies right out the window when you realize you've been strutting all afternoon with a leaf dangling from the matted mess, utterly oblivious.
Things are especially rough when your mom and dad laugh at you and post your beard faux pas for all the internet to see.
Though, some might argue that referring to yourselves as your dog's mom and dad qualifies as a faux pas of its own.

Kitchen and Dining Room Photos

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I forgot all about our current house.

For the past two years or so, the only home we've cared about has been the one we're building with Panorama Homes. It's hard to love the house we're in now - it's just a storage unit. We were able to save thousands on construction costs by purchasing all the fixtures ourselves and storing them, but it didn't take long for the stacks of boxes to suck the romance right out of the place. There has been a sauna in our dining room for more than two years. There's a clawfoot tub next to it. Oh, and did I mention the toilets? Just try to enjoy your home with three toilets stacked to your living room ceiling. I dare you.

We hadn't expected the construction process to take this long.
Also, I'm a bit of a shopaholic. If it's an open-box clearance item, that means it's heavily discounted, one of a kind, and this is my only chance to buy it! Did I mention we've saved thousands?
I can't wait to get all my bargain…

Grilled Stuffed Burrito

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SN will be quick to tell you that there are pros and cons of being married to a blogger. This CopycatTaco Bell Grilled Stuffed Burrito recipe (courtesy of an actual Taco Bell employee) is a perfect example.

On the plus side, I love to cook up tasty new foods to post on my blog. He never seems to mind this part. Can we make Grilled Stuffed Burritos at home? Sure, why not.


Taco Bell Grilled Stuffed Burrito Copycat

(Waaay better than the fast food version - healthier, less expensive, and you don't risk ticking off the drive-thru girl.)


On the other hand, I may occasionally give my husband something tasty to eat, like a hot-off-the-grill burrito...



...and then steal it away before he can take a bite. Hey, I have to get photos for my blog, right?



SN should have known better than to try to eat his burrito before I was finished. Don't feel too bad for him. These things stay hot forever!

From ages 16 to 18, yours truly worked at Taco Bell. I was there when the Grilled Stuffed Burritos were f…

Charming Stone Cottage

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It was fun virtually shopping for a mansion last week, but I have something even better this time.

A gorgeous home someone may actually be able to afford!

To be fair, at $757,400 (weird asking price, right?) it's still fairly steep. But with a carriage house (I'll admit I'm not entirely sure what this is) and 137 acres (holy moly!), think of it as only $5,528 per acre with a free house (and carriage house!) thrown in. Besides, it's not like anyone actually pays the full asking price. By the time you negotiate this thing down, it would be foolish not to buy it.

Yeah, I can pretty much find a way to justify anything I want to buy.

1856 Christie Lake Road, Perth, Ontario (from Sotheby's) (oooh, fancy)
On a side note, I'd actually intended to search Perth, Australia, which is where I'm from and where many of my family members still live. The Sotheby's website had other plans.







If money weren't a factor, is this a house you'd like to call home? I've also …

Working Hard in Hawaii

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Sexy Nerd's job requires him to travel almost every week. He flies so many places so frequently, half the time I'm not even sure where he is. I just asked him if he saw the zebra balloon in the air over Albuquerque yesterday morning and he said no. I asked if he'd seen any balloons and he said no. Incredulously, I asked how that could possibly be, as there are hot air balloons everywhere right now. He hasn't seen any balloons because he hasn't been here. Oh, right.

Is Sexy Nerd in Washington D.C. this week? Napa Valley? Instead of being home, the poor guy is always stuck sleeping at a resort or dining at a gourmet steakhouse. Poor, poor Sexy Nerd.

Recently, his work made him go to Hawaii. Don't you feel sooo bad for him?

I hated for Sexy Nerd to feel homesick, all alone in a tropical paradise, so I tagged along. Yes, I am the best wife ever, obviously.
Ted's Bakery, one of our favorite restaurants in the world. We even bought our wedding cake there, which w…