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Showing posts from September, 2015

The Grump Goes to Santa Fe

Once upon a time, there was a Grump. He didn't always used to be a Grump. Maybe it was his skepticism of the value of a staycation. Perhaps he was frustrated with people judging his water-carrying backpack, saying that he was much too close to home to dress like such a tourist. Some people just don't like Santa Fe. "Santa Fe people," thought the Grump "are a bunch of hippies. I will not smile, no matter how much my cute wife wants a photo of me in front of the Santa Fe sign. You must never smile at a hippie or they will steal your power." When faced with the prospect of walking to Canyon Road to browse the art galleries, the Grump crumpled his oversized hat in frustration. "We have perfectly good art in Albuquerque," he muttered.  Shopping at the Santa Fe Plaza only seemed to create a Sleepy Grump. "We rode the Rail Runner train here," he was quick to point out. "You can't get any of this junk home. It's a

A Deathlike Slumber

Sexy Nerd and I have been together for more than 11 years. Keep this in mind while reading the following conversation we had yesterday: Sexy Nerd: Hey! You know what I noticed the other night? You have sleep apnea. Me: Wha?! Sexy Nerd: You just stopped breathing the other night. You weren't breathing for, like, a minute. Then, you were gasping for breath. Then, you woke up. That must have been the cause of your insomnia problem all along. Sleep apnea! Me: So, you think I've always stopped breathing for dangerous amounts of time, every night that you've known me? Sexy Nerd: Yeah! Me: And...you never noticed...in more than eleven years? Sexy Nerd: ... Me: And how long were you going to wait to see if I started breathing again? A minute seems like kind of a long time, don't you think? Sexy Nerd: ...I...didn't want to risk waking you ...because I love you... So, apparently this is what my (most likely shortened) future holds: CPAP machine - no

The Downside of Being Married to an Engineer

Oh no, Ocho! One of your legs wasn't quite level, so Sexy Nerd "fixed" it. If you've ever wondered what it's like to be married to an engineer , this about sums it up. Sure, they can build you cool things, but life isn't all pocket protectors and sexy glasses. In his defense, he had no reason to suspect your leg would snap off entirely. I mean, yeah I told him exactly that would happen if he messed with it and to just leave it alone, but other than that, how was he to know? $200 Octopus Pedestal Stand from Z Gallerie (Well, not $200 anymore, obviously) Your leg! Your beautiful leg!

Will I Ever Post Again?

Sexy Nerd has a new phone that takes excellent photos, so we've been using it exclusively instead of lugging a camera around. We have photos from the Colorado Springs Parade of Homes, our recent trip to Hawaii, and many other blog-worthy events. In fact, we attended the opening weekend of the home parade, making it essential to post on my blog ASAP so it could serve as a resource for people thinking of going. Sexy Nerd agreed. And yet... Sexy Nerd said he would send me the photos more than a month ago. The Colorado Springs Parade of Homes is long over. Sexy Nerd is still saying he's going to send me the photos. ..... Where are the photos, Sexy Nerd?!? An old photo (obviously) of Sexy Nerd. Spend less time giving pep talks to half-dead trees and more time sending me photos!